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Women's Roles
The Authentic Mom

Women’s Roles

Lesson 4

The Authentic Mom

 

In the longitudinal study done by the one of the leading sociologists of our day at the University of Notre Dame, Christian Stephen Smith, the question was asked, “what is it that keeps kids in the faith as they go into adulthood?”  The data showed that the single greatest determining factor is the demonstrated faith of parents.  Data from this decades long study were as follows:

“Just one percent of teens age 15 - 17 raised by parents who attached little importance to religion were still highly religious in their mid to late twenties.  In contrast, 82 percent of children raised by parents who talked about their faith at home, attached great importance to their beliefs and were active in their congregations were themselves religiously active as young adults.” (Reported by Huffpost from the National Study of Youth and Religion)

 

Moms fill many different roles as we parent and clearly, it is paramount that we demonstrate a true, authentic faith in front of their children to give them the best chance to grow into their own faith as they mature.  This is why we took time to meditate on ways we can carefully devote time to protect and increase our own Christian walk.  I am glad you are participating in the homebuilder’s studies.

 

1 Corinthians 15:58

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”

 

Galatians 6:9

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not loose heart.”

 

Jesus condemned hypocrisy. (Matt 23) He warned of its damaging effects and as we see in the data above living a fake, or hypocritical life in front of our children will hinder their faith.  I believe that it is even more dangerous than not having any faith in Jesus at all.  One of Satan’s greatest tools is a hypocrite.  It is a sure way to turn someone away from Christianity.

 

In the book of Revelation the Lord speaks to the church at Laodicea.  It is the only church in that book about which Jesus had nothing good to say.  He says, “I know your deeds and you are neither cold or hot.” God prefers that you choose to be all in with your faith or have none at all.  The in-between makes him sick as God says if you are neither cold or hot He will spit you out of His mouth.

 

In the book entitled Unshakable Faith  How to Stand Firm in a Culture of Lies, Aaron Graham addresses seven lies that Christians are in danger of believing. One of them he calls the lukewarm believer.  This is the Christian who believes that it is ok to have your faith private.  He may believe and have some faith but never does he live it out in front of others. He often will not take a stand either way living in the middle ground between faith in Christ and faith in the world.   Aaron Graham says, “And when we surround ourselves with lukewarm believers, we can begin to think this is the norm.  We can forget how good cold water tastes.  But God doesn’t forget.  He wants nothing to do with the lukewarm, complacent faith of cultural Christianity that has one foot in the church and one foot in the world.”

My friend once told me that he was with a buddy and they realized that they had a mutual friend. He said, "Yes, I know him. We go to the same church."  His buddy replied, "Really? I didn't know that. I would have never thought he was a Christian."  My friend was sad and said he never forgot that.  He thought it was a shame that their friend never shared that he was a Christian and wondered what held him back from living out his faith in front of others. 

Keeping our faith real is the goal.  Being authentic in our love and devotion to God is our aim.  This does not mean perfection.  It means living a true and faithful life, growing in our faith every day.  As we do we will have a greater chance in influencing our children toward faithfulness.

STAGES OF MOTHERHOOD

 

As we live this authentic life we will go through different stages as a mom.  Each stage is important.  I am sure there are many books written about these stages but the ones I am sharing are my thoughts based on my experience.

 

Newborn Stage/ the Nurturer

 

These are months where we adjust to the new role of motherhood.  I remember the trepidation with each new baby.  Each child is different and the anxiety of learning this new person is real.  Our goals are to nurture, protect, comfort, and bond with our baby.  Our authentic faith drives us to gratitude and a reliance on the Lord to see us through all the difficult times we may encounter.  We are laying a foundation with our child that they can depend on us,  that they are loved unconditionally and they can rest in the assurance of a loving mommy!  We may not realize it but these are our baby’s first introduction into what it is like with God.  They experience the very things we have with our Heavenly Father and as they trust us as parents, the easier it will be for them to trust God as they grow.  Don’t underestimate your role and influence.

 

 

Toddler Stage/ the Teacher

 

In this stage it is critical for us to establish our authority in our child’s life.  As much as we want to never make our children unhappy, we must take the time to guide and direct.  Our goals are to protect, teach, guide, and establish an order.  Children are not equipped to make decisions and their security is found in trusting their parents.  When a parent fails to establish their authority, chaos will take place because children need loving direction.  Our authentic faith helps us to understand that God has given us the role of teacher to our child.  We have begun the education into obedience and learning the difference between right and wrong.  We teach our children to respect us as the authority in their life and again it will help them to accept

Christ as their Lord in the future.

These few years can be exhausting, especially with a strong willed child BUT I promise you, taking the time and energy now to set the right order and discipline will pay off in the long run.  Neglecting to do it now will cause you pain in the future.

 

Adolescent Stage/ the Guide

 

These years can be so much fun.  We are able to see the personalities of our child blossom.  Our goals are to know and understand our child’s strengths and weaknesses and to hold them to a high moral standard.  We now allow them to make more decisions on their own and we guide them in those choices. We teach our children to become productive members of the family.  We can see them putting into practice the lessons learned earlier.  Our authentic faith allows us to point them in critical thinking with a biblical world view. We guide, teach, console, and foster opportunities for our children to learn, experience and serve.  As we offer more freedom it is important to maintain the authority.  We allow them to fail and problem solve under the security of a loving family.  In these years a strong faith community is important as they are starting to develop their own faith.  How we live out our own faith in front of them is super important as they are surely watching!

 

 

 

Teen years /the Mentor

 

Perhaps my favorite times with my children.  Much of your child’s personality is already formed.  Our role shifts a bit to that of a mentor.  We allow our children to make their own choices and we trust them more as they demonstrate that they can handle it.  At the same time we allow them to feel consequences when needed. Our authentic faith causes us to reject the notion that all teens will be disrespectful and disobedient.  We continue to hold the family to a high standard, that of the Lord and His word. We become cheerleaders in our kids lives as they begin to separate and choose their own way in life.  We offer advice but respect the choices of our children.  This is a bitter/sweet time for a mom.  We step back and watch as our kids start to leave the nest.  Proud yet sad.

 

Adult Children /the Friend

 

Now that our children are adults we can shift to the role of friend.  Our children will always need our unconditional love and guidance but a strong friendship will grow in this stage.  It can be challenging after 18 years of being in control but it is a beautiful thing to experience the relationship of friend.  This stage can be so beautiful. As our children grow and experience life they begin to understand mom in a new way.  They soften and respect you in a greater way as they now know what you went through to raise them in the Lord.   It can be quite vindicating actually. ; )  Now all of a sudden you know more than they thought you did.  Establishing authority, respect, love, and the standard of Christ in your home from day one will make this stage a wonderful one.  Our authentic faith will continue to guide and always point our children to Jesus.  Our kids will continue to seek our advice and it is a comfort to them to know that our responses will be grounded in the Word of God just as they always have been.

 

 

The parenting journey is the hardest, most joyful journey you will ever take.  God has given us a blueprint in His word for success.  His loving kindness will be with us every step of the way.

Love the Lord with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Take your faith seriously. Live it our in front of others.  Don’t be distracted by the world and its ways. And pray, pray, pray!  Lean on other Christians as you walk through challenges. Be real, honest, and faithful.  God will be with you and your family will thrive!

 

STUDY QUESTIONS

 

  1. Do you find it hard to live out our faith in front of others?

  2. Are you authentic in your faith?

  3. How are you intentional in being real with your faith in front of your children?

  4. What stage of motherhood do you find most challenging?

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