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LESSON 2

BUILDING WITH BALANCE

 

BALLOON ACTIVITY

Blow up 8 balloons. Write the following words on the balloons, one per balloon.

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DAUGHTER    STUDENT    FRIEND    WIFE    MOTHER    EMPLOYEE    TEACHER    CARE GIVER

 

Ask a volunteer to stand up. Ask her to keep one balloon up in the air. One by one add

in other balloons until she is trying to manage 8 balloons keeping them up in the air.

This demonstrates that it is impossible to keep all the balloons in the air at one time

perfectly. The reality is that no one person can fill all their roles perfectly. As our roles

increase something will always suffer. We must prioritize.

 

1. PRIORITIZE GOD-Create a relationship between yourself and God that is

constantly reinforced by the way you use your time to remain in Him. Prayer time,

devotion time, and study time. With young children you need to be creative.

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Proverbs 16:1-3 “The plans of the heart belong to man but the answer of the

tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of man are clean in his own sight but

the Lord weighs the motives. Commit your ways to the Lord and your plans

will be established.”

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2. PRIORITIZE FAMILY-Don”t let outside factors squeeze out precious family time. Put

boundaries in place that show where your priorities are. This can be difficult when you

are in ministry.

 

Deuteronomy 6:1-9

"6 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me

to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to

possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may

fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and

commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel,

and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may

increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the

God of your ancestors, promised you.

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your

God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your

strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your

hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at

home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you

get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your

foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

 

There was a time in my marriage when we were not doing so well and not getting along. We

needed to talk and get some things worked out. Frank left to preach a revival and it was the

worst timing. I felt so angry that he decided to leave instead of working on our relationship that

was in trouble. Luckily he felt it and cut his time short to come back home. Good thing

because I was furious he left.

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(Share a similar time in your life where the balance was off and someone had to give)

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Even if your time away from the family is for noble causes it can damage the home life.

 

I have often thought that it would be easier if Frank wanted to golf all the time or go fishing

every weekend. I could fight against that. But how do I say,”No, honey, you can’t go minister

to so and so tonight because I need you. Or, “No you can’t share the gospel with John

because I need your help today”?????

 

*DON’T LET YOUR FAMILY BECOME A CASUALTY-Total focus on ministry can

create bitterness and feelings of neglect within the family

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DON’T LET YOUR FAMILY BECOME AN IDOL-Total focus on family and neglecting

serving in the Kingdom can create selfishness and shallow Christianity. It will ultimately

draw you away from the Lord.

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A SOLUTION-MINISTER AS A FAMILY

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This is a soapbox of mine. I believe it is critical! As parents we model. Let children be a part of

your family team. The best way to build self esteem is not to give kids false praise but to give

them responsibilities early so they become contributors to the family and ultimately the

Kingdom. Our goal is to quickly move our children from being a consumer to being a producer.

When a child realizes that they have the power to help the family they feel good about

themselves. Same goes for giving children opportunities to serve in the Kingdom. Working

along side parents is the best way to train and keep the family focused on one main purpose.

Kids are then not neglected as mom and dad serve the Lord. They become a vital part of the

family unit serving God.

 

Andy Stanley wrote a book that I would recommend. It is called Choosing to Cheat.

You see, as you prioritize you will have to cheat something. When Frank chose to

leave for the revival he actually was choosing to cheat on our relationship and

ultimately he then choose to cheat the revival to return and make things right with me.

 

Every day we cheat something. Each day we may cheat different things. The goal is to

choose wisely each day and give where the needs are.

 

The trick is to get up each day and access the situation. How strong is the family

today? There are days when you are good and everyone can handle giving to others

and sacrificing of their desires. But there are days when maybe being cheated will

cause much heart ache.

 

What can the family handle at any given time? There are times when our children can

carry a heavy load and even learn and grow from it but when we ask that of them too

often we can cause damage. Navigate this carefully and make the choices together.

 

There are also seasons where you can give more and seasons when the family has to

take priority often. (Adjusting to a new baby, an illness, being burned out, etc.)

Make these choices with much prayer and remember, God works everything for our

good.

 

Even when we may cheat the wrong thing, the Lord is gracious and has our

backs. We cannot be in more than one place at a time.

 

My mother’s health was starting to fail and I was thrust into care giving. She needed a lot

of help and our family had to adjust to helping her, Having a large family, I was still

parenting younger children, homeschooling and preparing an 18 year old for college.

If there were four of me I still don’t think I would have met all that was required of me. The

family was amazing and I am so proud of my children who all stepped up to the plate to

help care for my mom. I eventually had to seek outside help because we were

overwhelmed by her needs and it is not a grandchild’s responsibility to care for a

grandmother. I was so torn. I felt like the worst mom. So much of my time was caring for

my mom that I cheated my kids every day. It was difficult. I felt so guilty.

But with the grace of God we managed to see the task to completion as mom passed away

at my home surrounded by family.

Months later I found a letter written by one of my daughters. She said that she knew how

difficult it was for me and knew I felt like a bad mom. She said in that letter that I wasn’t a

bad mom, I was just teaching my children how to be a daughter.

THE GRACE OF GOD!!!

 

PRIORITIZE GOD

PRIORITIZE FAMILY

MINISTER TOGETHER AS A FAMILY

NAVIGATE EACH DAY WHO OR WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD TO CHEAT

BATHE ALL OF THIS IN MUCH PRAYER

 

STUDY QUESTIONS

 

1. What are some practical ways you cam improve your alone time with God?

2. Where do you struggle with balancing your roles?

3. What are the things that hinder you from having healthy priorities?

4. What are things that you have found to help you in fulfilling your

responsibilities?

WOMEN’S ROLES

Lesson 1

“ROLES, NOT IDENTITY”

 

As we look at the creation story in Genesis, we see that God was satisfied with each day of His handiwork.  We see the phrase “And God saw that it was good” over and over.  On the sixth day God said:

 

“Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness”  “So God created man in His own image.”

 

God ordained man to rule over creation.  The Bible says that male and female, He created them.  And God said it was not only good but “VERY good”

 

In Genesis 2:18 God indicates the first thing that He said was not good during the seven days of creation.  And that was, it was not good for man to be alone.  In all of creation, the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the beasts fo the land, there was not found a suitable helper for man.

 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept she took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh.  And from that rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.” Gen. 2: 21 and 22

 

Woman was created to be a “suitable helper”.  The King James Bible uses the term “Help Meet”  What does that mean?

 

As we look at scriptures that talk about the role of women, we can be thrust into so many emotions.  These scriptures can be hard to swallow.  But I ask the question, Are the scriptures difficult or is it my heart that is not soft enough to meditate on these verses? Do I have preconceived ideas, negative past experiences, or selfish, self preserving defenses that go up immediately as I look upon such ideas?

 

In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book entitled, “Helper by Design”  She says this about handling such scriptures as she started the project of writing her book:

 

“Honestly, there were days I strongly considered forsaking the whole project.  Then, when by God’s mercy, I once again regained forward motion, I felt I was walking in the dark…trying to learn what I just tripped over, picking up a stone, holding it…examining it, experiencing it.  What does the heat of this rock mean?  Is it really blistering hot or is it just that my hands are so cold?  Is it genuinely sharp?  Does it have to cut, or am I hanging on to it too tightly or holding it in the wrong places?”

 

I believe that as we look at what God instructs, it does not have to sting. If we open our heart to God’s instructions we will see something powerful and beautiful.

 

Let’s remember a few things before we begin.

 

  1. We are God’s beloved children.  (Eph. 5:1)

  2. Everything God instructs is for our own good and pleasure. (Jer. 29:11)

  3. God longs to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. (2 Chron. 16:9)(Psalm 37:4)

  4. We can only control ourselves. (Phil. 2:12-13 )

 

As women we fill many roles.   We are daughters and sisters. We may choose to marry taking on the role of helper and wife.  We may have children taking on the role of mother.  We may choose roles like teacher, health care provider, coach, boss of a company, etc.

We must remember that no matter the roles we fill,  they are not our identity.

Our identity is CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE.  This is the main point I want to get across in this lesson.  And I believe that if we put this truth into our hearts it will help us accept the role of helper to our husband. It will help us embrace the role in a different light.

 

As a christian woman, our goal in life is to reflect Christ in all we do.  To be His hands and feet.  We seek to glorify God with the work of our hands and to glorify and imitate God within any role we fill.

 

Elyse Fitzpatrick suggests that we can gain greater understanding of what a helper does if we imitate our Heavenly Father who is our great helper.

 

 

IN WHAT WAYS IS GOD OUR HELPER?

 

God strengthens-

Psalm 54:4 - “Behold, God is my helper:  The Lord is of them that uphold my soul.”

 

Isa. 41:10 - “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

 

Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

 

 

God sustains-

 

Isa. 46:4 - “I will be your God throughout your lifetime- Until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will cary you along and I will save you.”

 

God comforts-

 

2 Cor 1 : 3-4 “…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others….”

 

God protects-

 

2 Thes. 3:3 - “…The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.”

 

 

We can always count on God to hold to his promises.  So, in that light let’s answer these questions.

 

  1. Can our husband always count on us?

  2. How can we strengthen our husband?

  3. How can we help sustain him?

  4. What is the best way to comfort our husband?

  5. How can we protect our husband?

  6. How do we treat our husband in a time of trouble?

 

We all know that the world is a tough place.  As we go out to work and purchase and live our lives we can be knocked down in many ways.  I want our home and my presence to be a source of strength, comfort and protection to my husband and family.  I want my husband to want to come home because it is the place where he feels safe, secure, respected and a respite from the world.  As wives, we have the power to create an atmosphere that fosters those characteristics.

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Last night Frank came home and to my surprise he said to me, “ My eyes were really opened today.”  He had been out plowing snow for 13 hours. This caught my attention. “ I just want to thank you for being the kind of woman that you are.”  Ok. That was nice. Why was he compelled to say this?  Apparently he had witnessed some conversations where he was shocked at how the man in those conversations was being spoken to.  He heard great disrespect, ungratefulness, and ugliness.  He said he could not imagine being spoken to in the manner he had heard.  I said thank you and asked, “ So my nagging isn’t so bad?”

He laughed and said,”Bring it on!”

I love my husband with all my heart and was so thankful he sees me as a source of strength, comfort and a safe haven from the world.  I am not perfect by any means but I only want my husband to thrive in our lives and family.

 

 

 

 

Being a helper to our husband goes far deeper than just having dinner ready at a certain time.  It is not a lesser role.  It does not devalue us.  If anything it is a beautiful thing when we show the love that God shows. It is tremendously powerful when we “build our house”.  We want good things for the man we love.

 

As parents it is a wonderful gift to give our children; showing them how to love and honor another human being and to strive for what is good in another person’s life.

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