LESSON 2
BUILDING WITH BALANCE
BALLOON ACTIVITY
Blow up 8 balloons. Write the following words on the balloons, one per balloon.
DAUGHTER STUDENT FRIEND WIFE MOTHER EMPLOYEE TEACHER CARE GIVER
Ask a volunteer to stand up. Ask her to keep one balloon up in the air. One by one add
in other balloons until she is trying to manage 8 balloons keeping them up in the air.
This demonstrates that it is impossible to keep all the balloons in the air at one time
perfectly. The reality is that no one person can fill all their roles perfectly. As our roles
increase something will always suffer. We must prioritize.
1. PRIORITIZE GOD-Create a relationship between yourself and God that is
constantly reinforced by the way you use your time to remain in Him. Prayer time,
devotion time, and study time. With young children you need to be creative.
Proverbs 16:1-3 “The plans of the heart belong to man but the answer of the
tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of man are clean in his own sight but
the Lord weighs the motives. Commit your ways to the Lord and your plans
will be established.”
2. PRIORITIZE FAMILY-Don”t let outside factors squeeze out precious family time. Put
boundaries in place that show where your priorities are. This can be difficult when you
are in ministry.
Deuteronomy 6:1-9
"6 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me
to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to
possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may
fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and
commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel,
and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may
increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the
God of your ancestors, promised you.
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your
hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at
home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you
get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your
foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."
There was a time in my marriage when we were not doing so well and not getting along. We
needed to talk and get some things worked out. Frank left to preach a revival and it was the
worst timing. I felt so angry that he decided to leave instead of working on our relationship that
was in trouble. Luckily he felt it and cut his time short to come back home. Good thing
because I was furious he left.
(Share a similar time in your life where the balance was off and someone had to give)
Even if your time away from the family is for noble causes it can damage the home life.
I have often thought that it would be easier if Frank wanted to golf all the time or go fishing
every weekend. I could fight against that. But how do I say,”No, honey, you can’t go minister
to so and so tonight because I need you. Or, “No you can’t share the gospel with John
because I need your help today”?????
*DON’T LET YOUR FAMILY BECOME A CASUALTY-Total focus on ministry can
create bitterness and feelings of neglect within the family
*
DON’T LET YOUR FAMILY BECOME AN IDOL-Total focus on family and neglecting
serving in the Kingdom can create selfishness and shallow Christianity. It will ultimately
draw you away from the Lord.
A SOLUTION-MINISTER AS A FAMILY
This is a soapbox of mine. I believe it is critical! As parents we model. Let children be a part of
your family team. The best way to build self esteem is not to give kids false praise but to give
them responsibilities early so they become contributors to the family and ultimately the
Kingdom. Our goal is to quickly move our children from being a consumer to being a producer.
When a child realizes that they have the power to help the family they feel good about
themselves. Same goes for giving children opportunities to serve in the Kingdom. Working
along side parents is the best way to train and keep the family focused on one main purpose.
Kids are then not neglected as mom and dad serve the Lord. They become a vital part of the
family unit serving God.
Andy Stanley wrote a book that I would recommend. It is called Choosing to Cheat.
You see, as you prioritize you will have to cheat something. When Frank chose to
leave for the revival he actually was choosing to cheat on our relationship and
ultimately he then choose to cheat the revival to return and make things right with me.
Every day we cheat something. Each day we may cheat different things. The goal is to
choose wisely each day and give where the needs are.
The trick is to get up each day and access the situation. How strong is the family
today? There are days when you are good and everyone can handle giving to others
and sacrificing of their desires. But there are days when maybe being cheated will
cause much heart ache.
What can the family handle at any given time? There are times when our children can
carry a heavy load and even learn and grow from it but when we ask that of them too
often we can cause damage. Navigate this carefully and make the choices together.
There are also seasons where you can give more and seasons when the family has to
take priority often. (Adjusting to a new baby, an illness, being burned out, etc.)
Make these choices with much prayer and remember, God works everything for our
good.
Even when we may cheat the wrong thing, the Lord is gracious and has our
backs. We cannot be in more than one place at a time.
My mother’s health was starting to fail and I was thrust into care giving. She needed a lot
of help and our family had to adjust to helping her, Having a large family, I was still
parenting younger children, homeschooling and preparing an 18 year old for college.
If there were four of me I still don’t think I would have met all that was required of me. The
family was amazing and I am so proud of my children who all stepped up to the plate to
help care for my mom. I eventually had to seek outside help because we were
overwhelmed by her needs and it is not a grandchild’s responsibility to care for a
grandmother. I was so torn. I felt like the worst mom. So much of my time was caring for
my mom that I cheated my kids every day. It was difficult. I felt so guilty.
But with the grace of God we managed to see the task to completion as mom passed away
at my home surrounded by family.
Months later I found a letter written by one of my daughters. She said that she knew how
difficult it was for me and knew I felt like a bad mom. She said in that letter that I wasn’t a
bad mom, I was just teaching my children how to be a daughter.
THE GRACE OF GOD!!!
PRIORITIZE GOD
PRIORITIZE FAMILY
MINISTER TOGETHER AS A FAMILY
NAVIGATE EACH DAY WHO OR WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD TO CHEAT
BATHE ALL OF THIS IN MUCH PRAYER
STUDY QUESTIONS
1. What are some practical ways you cam improve your alone time with God?
2. Where do you struggle with balancing your roles?
3. What are the things that hinder you from having healthy priorities?
4. What are things that you have found to help you in fulfilling your
responsibilities?