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Lesson 1
Loving Myself

How do you treat yourself?

How do you talk to yourself?

Do you ever struggle with negative self talk?

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The National Foundation of Science has stated that a person has an average of 20,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day.  Out of those thoughts 80% of them are negative.  95% of them are repeated thoughts from the day before.  That is 80% negative thoughts day after day.

 

Another disturbing statistic I found in one study said that only 16% of girls in the fifth grade feel good about their appearance.  And that number falls to 9% when surveying high school freshman.

 

Negative self talk is real and if I play back the recordings of my personal thoughts I have to admit that I am not very kind to myself.  I probably would never talk to another person in the way that I talk to myself.

 

Unfortunately in our culture there is an unhealthy emphasis on appearance.  It scares me how young children are when they begin to talk negatively about their appearance.  TV and social media contribute so much to this obsession.

 

It is important to remember that when we engage in negative self talk someone is listening and that someone in me.  As we degrade ourselves we are speaking into our hearts.  We begin to listen and our behavior then reflects how we think about ourselves.

 

Not only that, but our children are listening.  I am sad when I think of how my negative talk has influenced my kids and perhaps made them question their worth.  I have been reminded several times by my daughters that my disappointment with myself and my appearance really sets my children up for their own negative thoughts. 

 

And God is listening.  I shudder to think of how the creator of the universe feels when He hears me trashing His beloved creation; Me.

This problem is great.  It hinders our ability to love others.  Jesus taught us what the greatest commandment was. 

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 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind.  And love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

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In Ephesians 5, Paul commands husbands to love their wives as their own bodies.  He said,

”Indeed, no-one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it…”

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Galatians puts it this way,

 “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one commandment:”Love your neighbor as yourself.”

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Everything we know about God’s word is summed up in the single sentence; Love others as you love yourself.  The law of love.

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How can we hope to love our neighbor the way God wants us to if we can not love ourselves?

 

First, what are the things that make us dislike ourselves?

 

When we do not love ourselves we are rejecting the one who created us.  We are saying that who God created is not good.

 

Second, how can we love ourselves?

And why should we love ourselves?

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Because God does!

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Psalm 139:13-16 “For You formed my inward parts. You wove me in my mother’s womb.  I will give thanks to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works and my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depth of the earth.  Your eyes have seen my unformed substance and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me when as yet there was not one of them.”

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We must learn to see ourselves as God does.

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Ephesians 2:10 “We are God’s workmanship (poem, masterpiece) created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”

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We are fully loved by God.

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Psalm 103:11 “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him.”

 

1John 3:1 “See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us that we would be called children of God and such we are…Beloved, now we are children of God.”

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If appearance is a struggle..... focus on true beauty.

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1 Peter3:3 “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.  You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

 

Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

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Ways to change negative talk.

 

1.) Acknowledge that your negative self talk is dishonoring to God and destructive to yourself 

     and those around you.

2.) Meditate on the scriptures that remind you of God’s love for you.  See yourself in the light of

     how God views you; Fearfully and wonderfully made and beloved.

3.) Combat every negative thought with 5 positive ones.  Change the narrative. 

4.) Pray earnestly for God to transform your thoughts to align with His and to create within you    

     A grateful spirit for the unique, lovely creation that is you.

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STUDY QUESTIONS

 

1.) What are the negative thoughts that are most prominent in your mind?

 

2.) How can you formulate positive thoughts to fight agains those from number 1?

 

3.) What strategies can you develop to stop the degrading thoughts you have about yourself? 

WOMEN’S ROLES

Lesson 1

“ROLES, NOT IDENTITY”

 

As we look at the creation story in Genesis, we see that God was satisfied with each day of His handiwork.  We see the phrase “And God saw that it was good” over and over.  On the sixth day God said:

 

“Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness”  “So God created man in His own image.”

 

God ordained man to rule over creation.  The Bible says that male and female, He created them.  And God said it was not only good but “VERY good”

 

In Genesis 2:18 God indicates the first thing that He said was not good during the seven days of creation.  And that was, it was not good for man to be alone.  In all of creation, the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the beasts fo the land, there was not found a suitable helper for man.

 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept she took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh.  And from that rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.” Gen. 2: 21 and 22

 

Woman was created to be a “suitable helper”.  The King James Bible uses the term “Help Meet”  What does that mean?

 

As we look at scriptures that talk about the role of women, we can be thrust into so many emotions.  These scriptures can be hard to swallow.  But I ask the question, Are the scriptures difficult or is it my heart that is not soft enough to meditate on these verses? Do I have preconceived ideas, negative past experiences, or selfish, self preserving defenses that go up immediately as I look upon such ideas?

 

In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book entitled, “Helper by Design”  She says this about handling such scriptures as she started the project of writing her book:

 

“Honestly, there were days I strongly considered forsaking the whole project.  Then, when by God’s mercy, I once again regained forward motion, I felt I was walking in the dark…trying to learn what I just tripped over, picking up a stone, holding it…examining it, experiencing it.  What does the heat of this rock mean?  Is it really blistering hot or is it just that my hands are so cold?  Is it genuinely sharp?  Does it have to cut, or am I hanging on to it too tightly or holding it in the wrong places?”

 

I believe that as we look at what God instructs, it does not have to sting. If we open our heart to God’s instructions we will see something powerful and beautiful.

 

Let’s remember a few things before we begin.

 

  1. We are God’s beloved children.  (Eph. 5:1)

  2. Everything God instructs is for our own good and pleasure. (Jer. 29:11)

  3. God longs to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. (2 Chron. 16:9)(Psalm 37:4)

  4. We can only control ourselves. (Phil. 2:12-13 )

 

As women we fill many roles.   We are daughters and sisters. We may choose to marry taking on the role of helper and wife.  We may have children taking on the role of mother.  We may choose roles like teacher, health care provider, coach, boss of a company, etc.

We must remember that no matter the roles we fill,  they are not our identity.

Our identity is CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE.  This is the main point I want to get across in this lesson.  And I believe that if we put this truth into our hearts it will help us accept the role of helper to our husband. It will help us embrace the role in a different light.

 

As a christian woman, our goal in life is to reflect Christ in all we do.  To be His hands and feet.  We seek to glorify God with the work of our hands and to glorify and imitate God within any role we fill.

 

Elyse Fitzpatrick suggests that we can gain greater understanding of what a helper does if we imitate our Heavenly Father who is our great helper.

 

 

IN WHAT WAYS IS GOD OUR HELPER?

 

God strengthens-

Psalm 54:4 - “Behold, God is my helper:  The Lord is of them that uphold my soul.”

 

Isa. 41:10 - “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

 

Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

 

 

God sustains-

 

Isa. 46:4 - “I will be your God throughout your lifetime- Until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will cary you along and I will save you.”

 

God comforts-

 

2 Cor 1 : 3-4 “…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others….”

 

God protects-

 

2 Thes. 3:3 - “…The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.”

 

 

We can always count on God to hold to his promises.  So, in that light let’s answer these questions.

 

  1. Can our husband always count on us?

  2. How can we strengthen our husband?

  3. How can we help sustain him?

  4. What is the best way to comfort our husband?

  5. How can we protect our husband?

  6. How do we treat our husband in a time of trouble?

 

We all know that the world is a tough place.  As we go out to work and purchase and live our lives we can be knocked down in many ways.  I want our home and my presence to be a source of strength, comfort and protection to my husband and family.  I want my husband to want to come home because it is the place where he feels safe, secure, respected and a respite from the world.  As wives, we have the power to create an atmosphere that fosters those characteristics.

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Last night Frank came home and to my surprise he said to me, “ My eyes were really opened today.”  He had been out plowing snow for 13 hours. This caught my attention. “ I just want to thank you for being the kind of woman that you are.”  Ok. That was nice. Why was he compelled to say this?  Apparently he had witnessed some conversations where he was shocked at how the man in those conversations was being spoken to.  He heard great disrespect, ungratefulness, and ugliness.  He said he could not imagine being spoken to in the manner he had heard.  I said thank you and asked, “ So my nagging isn’t so bad?”

He laughed and said,”Bring it on!”

I love my husband with all my heart and was so thankful he sees me as a source of strength, comfort and a safe haven from the world.  I am not perfect by any means but I only want my husband to thrive in our lives and family.

 

 

 

 

Being a helper to our husband goes far deeper than just having dinner ready at a certain time.  It is not a lesser role.  It does not devalue us.  If anything it is a beautiful thing when we show the love that God shows. It is tremendously powerful when we “build our house”.  We want good things for the man we love.

 

As parents it is a wonderful gift to give our children; showing them how to love and honor another human being and to strive for what is good in another person’s life.

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