Lesson 1
Loving Myself
How do you treat yourself?
How do you talk to yourself?
Do you ever struggle with negative self talk?
The National Foundation of Science has stated that a person has an average of 20,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day. Out of those thoughts 80% of them are negative. 95% of them are repeated thoughts from the day before. That is 80% negative thoughts day after day.
Another disturbing statistic I found in one study said that only 16% of girls in the fifth grade feel good about their appearance. And that number falls to 9% when surveying high school freshman.
Negative self talk is real and if I play back the recordings of my personal thoughts I have to admit that I am not very kind to myself. I probably would never talk to another person in the way that I talk to myself.
Unfortunately in our culture there is an unhealthy emphasis on appearance. It scares me how young children are when they begin to talk negatively about their appearance. TV and social media contribute so much to this obsession.
It is important to remember that when we engage in negative self talk someone is listening and that someone in me. As we degrade ourselves we are speaking into our hearts. We begin to listen and our behavior then reflects how we think about ourselves.
Not only that, but our children are listening. I am sad when I think of how my negative talk has influenced my kids and perhaps made them question their worth. I have been reminded several times by my daughters that my disappointment with myself and my appearance really sets my children up for their own negative thoughts.
And God is listening. I shudder to think of how the creator of the universe feels when He hears me trashing His beloved creation; Me.
This problem is great. It hinders our ability to love others. Jesus taught us what the greatest commandment was.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
In Ephesians 5, Paul commands husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. He said,
”Indeed, no-one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it…”
Galatians puts it this way,
“For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one commandment:”Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Everything we know about God’s word is summed up in the single sentence; Love others as you love yourself. The law of love.
How can we hope to love our neighbor the way God wants us to if we can not love ourselves?
First, what are the things that make us dislike ourselves?
When we do not love ourselves we are rejecting the one who created us. We are saying that who God created is not good.
Second, how can we love ourselves?
And why should we love ourselves?
Because God does!
Psalm 139:13-16 “For You formed my inward parts. You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depth of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me when as yet there was not one of them.”
We must learn to see ourselves as God does.
Ephesians 2:10 “We are God’s workmanship (poem, masterpiece) created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”
We are fully loved by God.
Psalm 103:11 “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him.”
1John 3:1 “See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us that we would be called children of God and such we are…Beloved, now we are children of God.”
If appearance is a struggle..... focus on true beauty.
1 Peter3:3 “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”
Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Ways to change negative talk.
1.) Acknowledge that your negative self talk is dishonoring to God and destructive to yourself
and those around you.
2.) Meditate on the scriptures that remind you of God’s love for you. See yourself in the light of
how God views you; Fearfully and wonderfully made and beloved.
3.) Combat every negative thought with 5 positive ones. Change the narrative.
4.) Pray earnestly for God to transform your thoughts to align with His and to create within you
A grateful spirit for the unique, lovely creation that is you.
STUDY QUESTIONS
1.) What are the negative thoughts that are most prominent in your mind?
2.) How can you formulate positive thoughts to fight agains those from number 1?
3.) What strategies can you develop to stop the degrading thoughts you have about yourself?