top of page

CARING FOR MYSELF

​

      In this age of instant information we can find numerous books, podcasts, and movements that promise to make you a better you.  Self help information is everywhere.  Improve your health, your looks, your body,  your sleep, your attitude, your effectiveness, your money earning abilities, your sanity, your confidence, and the topics are unending! Also there are many many products on the market that promise to improve you as well.  Smooth the skin, loose the fat, give you energy, clear the mind, etc.  I shudder to think of all the money I have spent on such products over the years.

     You can get lost in the endless suggestions on how to care for yourself.  The interesting thing about this is that the information can be so contradictory.  You can get confused while wading through all the "how tos" that are out there.  I can tell you of all the things I have tried.  There was the vegetarian stage, the vegan stage, the juicing stage, the bread making stage, the keto stage, the intermittent fasting stage and it is enough to make your head spin.

​

​

​

     The truth is that we do need to care for ourselves.  As moms we can get lost in the giving that sometimes we neglect taking care of ourselves.  And let's face it, with little ones at home, who can find the time to even go to the bathroom?But finding a way to nourish your own life is crucial to being a happy, confident, effective mom.

​

Mark 12:30 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength"

​

     In Mark 12:30 we are given instructions to love the Lord with four areas of our lives.  Our heart, our soul, our mind, and our strength.  I want to suggest that these are four important areas to care for.  Perhaps this can be a focus of self care.

​

1.) It is important to care for your heart.

​

Prov. 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it"

Psalm 119: 10-11 "With all my heart I have sought You; do not let me wander from Your commandments.  Your word I have treasured in my heart that I may not sin against You."

Matt. 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God."

​

                 CLEANSE            CONSISTANCY     COMMITMENT

​

     First, we need to evaluate what we love.  Where are our affections?  Asking ourselves if there is anything in our hearts that is destructive can help us clean our hearts.  David prayed that the Lord would create in him a clean heart after he had sinned against God.

​

Secondly, evaluate if our actions are consistently in line with what we say we love. We can say all sorts of things but our actions speak louder than our words.  I always say that we do what we want to do.

​

Thirdly, are we making a commitment to treasuring God's word in our hearts?

​

                                           In what ways have you been purposeful in caring for your heart?

​

​

2.)  It is important to care for your soul.

​

Psalm 19:7  "The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul,"

​

Psalm 130:5  "I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope."

 

Psalm 103:1 "Bless the Lord O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name."

 

     The soul refers to the inner most being.  It is the real you.  Your desires, your passions, your emotions, and your appetites.  By human nature we are selfish and often want to satisfy the desires of our inner self.  First Peter talks about our faith in Christ and that the result of our faith in Him is the salvation of our souls.  He also talks about purifying our souls by our obedience to the truth.  It is a constant battle within our souls between righteousness and our sin nature.

​

     Paul speaks of this battle in Romans 7.  The things that I want to so I don't and the things I don't want to do I do.  And he asks who can save me from the body of death?  Paul concludes by saying, "thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"  He is the only one who can!

​

                     CLEANSE         CONSISTENCY       COMMITMENT

​

                                                             In what ways do you care for your soul?

​

 

3.)  It is important to care for your mind

​

Romans 12:2. "Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

​

Col. 3:2  "Set your mind on things above, not on things of this earth."

​

Phil. 4:8. "Finally whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything is worthy of praise, think on these things."

​

1 Peter 1:13  "Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

​

     Your mind is your thought and reasoning and your disposition.  Critical thinking is critical to loving God and others but it can also be an instrument of self destruction when operating without God's light and power.

​

                                                         

​

​

                     CLEANSE       CONSISTENCY       COMMITMENT

​

                                 How are you caring for your mind?

 

 

4.)  It is important to care for your strength

​

​

​

Eph. 6:10  "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might."

​

Heb. 12:12-13. "Therefore strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed."

​

     Being a Christian is not for the faint hearted.  To truly commit to being a follower of Christ takes strength.  His ways are so opposite of the world's ways and the battle for our hearts and minds is fierce.  The Lord promises that His strength will be with us and in our weakness He makes us strong.  It takes effort to live in obedience to Christ.  Certainly the rewards are many but the sacrifices are many also.  Strength comes from the Holy Spirit within us but also from each other.

​

                   CLEANSE           CONSISTENCY             COMMITMENT

​

                                                         In what ways are you caring for your strength?

​

     In all these areas we need to consider the spiritual aspects but also the physical aspects of caring for ourselves.  In what ways do you care for your physical self?  Neglecting your physical health can be so harmful to us as moms.  We need to be in the best shape possible to have the energy to care for our families. 

​

​

 

​

​​

​

 

​

​

​

​

​

WOMEN’S ROLES

Lesson 1

“ROLES, NOT IDENTITY”

 

As we look at the creation story in Genesis, we see that God was satisfied with each day of His handiwork.  We see the phrase “And God saw that it was good” over and over.  On the sixth day God said:

 

“Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness”  “So God created man in His own image.”

 

God ordained man to rule over creation.  The Bible says that male and female, He created them.  And God said it was not only good but “VERY good”

 

In Genesis 2:18 God indicates the first thing that He said was not good during the seven days of creation.  And that was, it was not good for man to be alone.  In all of creation, the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the beasts fo the land, there was not found a suitable helper for man.

 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept she took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh.  And from that rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.” Gen. 2: 21 and 22

 

Woman was created to be a “suitable helper”.  The King James Bible uses the term “Help Meet”  What does that mean?

 

As we look at scriptures that talk about the role of women, we can be thrust into so many emotions.  These scriptures can be hard to swallow.  But I ask the question, Are the scriptures difficult or is it my heart that is not soft enough to meditate on these verses? Do I have preconceived ideas, negative past experiences, or selfish, self preserving defenses that go up immediately as I look upon such ideas?

 

In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book entitled, “Helper by Design”  She says this about handling such scriptures as she started the project of writing her book:

 

“Honestly, there were days I strongly considered forsaking the whole project.  Then, when by God’s mercy, I once again regained forward motion, I felt I was walking in the dark…trying to learn what I just tripped over, picking up a stone, holding it…examining it, experiencing it.  What does the heat of this rock mean?  Is it really blistering hot or is it just that my hands are so cold?  Is it genuinely sharp?  Does it have to cut, or am I hanging on to it too tightly or holding it in the wrong places?”

 

I believe that as we look at what God instructs, it does not have to sting. If we open our heart to God’s instructions we will see something powerful and beautiful.

 

Let’s remember a few things before we begin.

 

  1. We are God’s beloved children.  (Eph. 5:1)

  2. Everything God instructs is for our own good and pleasure. (Jer. 29:11)

  3. God longs to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. (2 Chron. 16:9)(Psalm 37:4)

  4. We can only control ourselves. (Phil. 2:12-13 )

 

As women we fill many roles.   We are daughters and sisters. We may choose to marry taking on the role of helper and wife.  We may have children taking on the role of mother.  We may choose roles like teacher, health care provider, coach, boss of a company, etc.

We must remember that no matter the roles we fill,  they are not our identity.

Our identity is CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE.  This is the main point I want to get across in this lesson.  And I believe that if we put this truth into our hearts it will help us accept the role of helper to our husband. It will help us embrace the role in a different light.

 

As a christian woman, our goal in life is to reflect Christ in all we do.  To be His hands and feet.  We seek to glorify God with the work of our hands and to glorify and imitate God within any role we fill.

 

Elyse Fitzpatrick suggests that we can gain greater understanding of what a helper does if we imitate our Heavenly Father who is our great helper.

 

 

IN WHAT WAYS IS GOD OUR HELPER?

 

God strengthens-

Psalm 54:4 - “Behold, God is my helper:  The Lord is of them that uphold my soul.”

 

Isa. 41:10 - “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

 

Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

 

 

God sustains-

 

Isa. 46:4 - “I will be your God throughout your lifetime- Until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will cary you along and I will save you.”

 

God comforts-

 

2 Cor 1 : 3-4 “…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others….”

 

God protects-

 

2 Thes. 3:3 - “…The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.”

 

 

We can always count on God to hold to his promises.  So, in that light let’s answer these questions.

 

  1. Can our husband always count on us?

  2. How can we strengthen our husband?

  3. How can we help sustain him?

  4. What is the best way to comfort our husband?

  5. How can we protect our husband?

  6. How do we treat our husband in a time of trouble?

 

We all know that the world is a tough place.  As we go out to work and purchase and live our lives we can be knocked down in many ways.  I want our home and my presence to be a source of strength, comfort and protection to my husband and family.  I want my husband to want to come home because it is the place where he feels safe, secure, respected and a respite from the world.  As wives, we have the power to create an atmosphere that fosters those characteristics.

​

Last night Frank came home and to my surprise he said to me, “ My eyes were really opened today.”  He had been out plowing snow for 13 hours. This caught my attention. “ I just want to thank you for being the kind of woman that you are.”  Ok. That was nice. Why was he compelled to say this?  Apparently he had witnessed some conversations where he was shocked at how the man in those conversations was being spoken to.  He heard great disrespect, ungratefulness, and ugliness.  He said he could not imagine being spoken to in the manner he had heard.  I said thank you and asked, “ So my nagging isn’t so bad?”

He laughed and said,”Bring it on!”

I love my husband with all my heart and was so thankful he sees me as a source of strength, comfort and a safe haven from the world.  I am not perfect by any means but I only want my husband to thrive in our lives and family.

 

 

 

 

Being a helper to our husband goes far deeper than just having dinner ready at a certain time.  It is not a lesser role.  It does not devalue us.  If anything it is a beautiful thing when we show the love that God shows. It is tremendously powerful when we “build our house”.  We want good things for the man we love.

 

As parents it is a wonderful gift to give our children; showing them how to love and honor another human being and to strive for what is good in another person’s life.

bottom of page