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Loving Our Children

Lesson 4

When we chose to homeschool I remember hearing the argument from some that a child must not be sheltered.  That is the way they would learn and "keeping them in a bubble" would be dangerous.  I was told that our children were to be missionaries in the public school setting.  I wrestled for a long time with this, worrying that I would raise weak children who could not stand up under hardships in life.  I thought even the young saplings are protected from the cold until they are strong enough to withstand the harsh wind and sun. 

It wasn't until I learned how inspectors are trained to recognize counterfeit money that  I formed my strong stance on this subject.

A person being trained to recognize counterfeit bills never studies the counterfeit.  They only study the real thing.  Because when you are confident on the true and real item, you can recognize the fake every time!

I became convinced that if I train my children in what is true, they would never have trouble recognizing what is false.

In Titus 2:5 the Bible instructs women to encourage the younger women to be workers at home.  Some translations say keepers at home.  The Greek word used here means more than just a domestic worker,  This word gives the thought of one who manages and guards the home.  The woman's role is stewardship of the affairs of the home.  We  are charged with being the ones who guard and protect.

Protect from what?  You may ask.  In Proverbs 31 we can read about attributes of a wife of noble character.

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She is more precious than rubies.

Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She is industrious and is not lazy.

She contributes to the prosperity of the family.

She makes sure everyone is safe and secure within her household and does not fear for the future.

She is dignified and talks with kindness and wisdom.

Her husband and children bless her.

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Proverbs also says, "She carefully watches everything in her household.

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This certainly refers to the physical aspects of the household but the ending verses in chapter 31 speak to the responsibility we have to guard the spiritual health of the family as well.

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"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

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As moms we are the first ones who pour into our children.  We are the first ones to help our children form their world view.  We are the first people to teach our little ones.  So much of the foundation of character is formed in first few years of life.  Helping our children develop the character of Christ is a huge responsibility and I believe it is part of guarding the home.

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It is our job to protect our family form the lies of  the Devil.  It becomes a battle of the mind.  Just like a scanner checks everything and everyone boarding a plane, we must be like the TSA agents inspecting all that comes into our homes.  All the ideas, thoughts, and teachings that enter our families hearts and minds must be evaluated by us, the keepers of the home.

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2 Corinthians 10: 3-6

"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.  For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.  We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience when your obedience is complete."

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HOW IS THIS DONE?

1) We must be willing to fight this battle in our own mind first.  Satan has filled this world with so many thoughts that are opposed 

     to the ways of the Lord.  We can be tossed every which way by philosophies, myths, and ideologies.

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Ephesians 4: 14-15

"then we will no longer be immature like children.  We won't be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching.  We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.  Instead, we will speek the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of His body, the church."

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The choice to make Jesus the Lord of your life causes us to draw a line in the sand.  Fully committing to the Lord compels us to follow His word alone.  We then immerse ourselves in the word of God, the truth and find our standard for living in His instructions.  As we study the true, we then can easily recognize what is false.

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2)  We must practice every day taking our thoughts captive.   As we are confronted with conflicts and ideas we have to line everything up against scripture to see if it is trustworthy or not.  If an idea contradicts the truth of scripture we must  eject it, no matter how good it may sound.  

This may be difficult  as a new christian.  The more you study the word of God, the easier it becomes.  When we make the choice to be baptized into Christ we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.  He helps us discern what is of God and what is against the Word. Lean into the Spirit and trust Him to guide your thoughts.

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3)  As we train our children, guide them to do the same. As they face choices in life sit with them and talk about what the Bible says about the situation.  always point them to doing things according to the scriptures.  Take every opportunity to talk about God's desire for us to be:  OBEDIENT, KIND, FORGIVING, LOVING, PURE, JOYFUL, HONEST, SACRIFICIAL, PRAYERFUL, FAITHFUL, TRUSTWORTHY, REPENTANT, SELF-CONTROLED, PEACEFUL, PATIENT, GENTLE, GENEROUS, ETC

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4) Be aware of what is entering your home via television, social media, books, magazines, etc.  Have open conversations with all the family about what they are experiencing and what they are hearing from friends, teachers, and other family members.  Be vigilant in scrutinizing it all.  Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to the influences that can be harmful to the family.

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5)  Take time to develop a mission statement for your family.  Identify the values that you as a family will commit to.  Print it out and post it.  And when anyone deviates from the family values you can remind that person of the mission statement.  For example, if a child is struggling with lying, you can say,"Remember, we value honesty in our family so lying is not acceptable.  And God is not pleased with lying."

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6)  Develop consequences for opposing the Godly values you have adopted in the family.  Make sure the Word of God is taken seriously within your family, irregardless of what other families and friends may be doing.  It is important to have a no compromise policy within your family.  Trust me!  It may be hard now and children may push back on these expectations but they will be grateful for them later in life.  I have heard many times from parents of older children how their children come back and thank them for the strong, no compromising stance they took.

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"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!"  Joshua 24:15

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I was once struggling to obey  the will of God and fought Him for several years.  I would not recommend fighting with God, nevertheless I was.  I was miserable because I knew 

god was asking me to do something but I did not want to do it.  I was distraught and went to talk to a friend seeking advice.  She asked me, "Are you convinced that this is God's will for your life?"  I replied. "yes."  She then said one of the most terrifying things I have ever heard.  She lovingly said, "If you are convinced that this is God's will and you refuse to do it, then you are being the vehicle that is allowing Satan into your home."

PRAISE GOD FOR FAITHFUL FRIENDS!"

That was the last thing I ever wanted to be; a vehicle for Satan in my family!  I was not guarding my home and I was the potential danger.  I obeyed God and even though the obedience was difficult at times, God blessed me for it.

 

Don't ever underestimate the value of being the keeper of the home.  Take this seriously.  You can be the difference between peace and turmoil.  Guarding your children and seeing them thriving in the Lord is a true blessing to a mama's heart

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STUDY QUESTIONS

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1 Are your expectations for your children clear?

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2 What are the values you feel are mot important?

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3 Where can you be more consistant within your family?

WOMEN’S ROLES

Lesson 1

“ROLES, NOT IDENTITY”

 

As we look at the creation story in Genesis, we see that God was satisfied with each day of His handiwork.  We see the phrase “And God saw that it was good” over and over.  On the sixth day God said:

 

“Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness”  “So God created man in His own image.”

 

God ordained man to rule over creation.  The Bible says that male and female, He created them.  And God said it was not only good but “VERY good”

 

In Genesis 2:18 God indicates the first thing that He said was not good during the seven days of creation.  And that was, it was not good for man to be alone.  In all of creation, the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the beasts fo the land, there was not found a suitable helper for man.

 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept she took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh.  And from that rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.” Gen. 2: 21 and 22

 

Woman was created to be a “suitable helper”.  The King James Bible uses the term “Help Meet”  What does that mean?

 

As we look at scriptures that talk about the role of women, we can be thrust into so many emotions.  These scriptures can be hard to swallow.  But I ask the question, Are the scriptures difficult or is it my heart that is not soft enough to meditate on these verses? Do I have preconceived ideas, negative past experiences, or selfish, self preserving defenses that go up immediately as I look upon such ideas?

 

In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book entitled, “Helper by Design”  She says this about handling such scriptures as she started the project of writing her book:

 

“Honestly, there were days I strongly considered forsaking the whole project.  Then, when by God’s mercy, I once again regained forward motion, I felt I was walking in the dark…trying to learn what I just tripped over, picking up a stone, holding it…examining it, experiencing it.  What does the heat of this rock mean?  Is it really blistering hot or is it just that my hands are so cold?  Is it genuinely sharp?  Does it have to cut, or am I hanging on to it too tightly or holding it in the wrong places?”

 

I believe that as we look at what God instructs, it does not have to sting. If we open our heart to God’s instructions we will see something powerful and beautiful.

 

Let’s remember a few things before we begin.

 

  1. We are God’s beloved children.  (Eph. 5:1)

  2. Everything God instructs is for our own good and pleasure. (Jer. 29:11)

  3. God longs to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. (2 Chron. 16:9)(Psalm 37:4)

  4. We can only control ourselves. (Phil. 2:12-13 )

 

As women we fill many roles.   We are daughters and sisters. We may choose to marry taking on the role of helper and wife.  We may have children taking on the role of mother.  We may choose roles like teacher, health care provider, coach, boss of a company, etc.

We must remember that no matter the roles we fill,  they are not our identity.

Our identity is CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE.  This is the main point I want to get across in this lesson.  And I believe that if we put this truth into our hearts it will help us accept the role of helper to our husband. It will help us embrace the role in a different light.

 

As a christian woman, our goal in life is to reflect Christ in all we do.  To be His hands and feet.  We seek to glorify God with the work of our hands and to glorify and imitate God within any role we fill.

 

Elyse Fitzpatrick suggests that we can gain greater understanding of what a helper does if we imitate our Heavenly Father who is our great helper.

 

 

IN WHAT WAYS IS GOD OUR HELPER?

 

God strengthens-

Psalm 54:4 - “Behold, God is my helper:  The Lord is of them that uphold my soul.”

 

Isa. 41:10 - “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

 

Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

 

 

God sustains-

 

Isa. 46:4 - “I will be your God throughout your lifetime- Until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will cary you along and I will save you.”

 

God comforts-

 

2 Cor 1 : 3-4 “…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others….”

 

God protects-

 

2 Thes. 3:3 - “…The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.”

 

 

We can always count on God to hold to his promises.  So, in that light let’s answer these questions.

 

  1. Can our husband always count on us?

  2. How can we strengthen our husband?

  3. How can we help sustain him?

  4. What is the best way to comfort our husband?

  5. How can we protect our husband?

  6. How do we treat our husband in a time of trouble?

 

We all know that the world is a tough place.  As we go out to work and purchase and live our lives we can be knocked down in many ways.  I want our home and my presence to be a source of strength, comfort and protection to my husband and family.  I want my husband to want to come home because it is the place where he feels safe, secure, respected and a respite from the world.  As wives, we have the power to create an atmosphere that fosters those characteristics.

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Last night Frank came home and to my surprise he said to me, “ My eyes were really opened today.”  He had been out plowing snow for 13 hours. This caught my attention. “ I just want to thank you for being the kind of woman that you are.”  Ok. That was nice. Why was he compelled to say this?  Apparently he had witnessed some conversations where he was shocked at how the man in those conversations was being spoken to.  He heard great disrespect, ungratefulness, and ugliness.  He said he could not imagine being spoken to in the manner he had heard.  I said thank you and asked, “ So my nagging isn’t so bad?”

He laughed and said,”Bring it on!”

I love my husband with all my heart and was so thankful he sees me as a source of strength, comfort and a safe haven from the world.  I am not perfect by any means but I only want my husband to thrive in our lives and family.

 

 

 

 

Being a helper to our husband goes far deeper than just having dinner ready at a certain time.  It is not a lesser role.  It does not devalue us.  If anything it is a beautiful thing when we show the love that God shows. It is tremendously powerful when we “build our house”.  We want good things for the man we love.

 

As parents it is a wonderful gift to give our children; showing them how to love and honor another human being and to strive for what is good in another person’s life.

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