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Loving Our Children

Lesson 5

LESSON 5

REALITY CHECK

 

 

In the past we have discussed how Satan is a real and formidable foe.  He wants to destroy the family and it is wise for us to understand this enemy and respect him.  Knowing how he operates  is valuable so we can have an offensive strategy against him.

 

Today we are going to step back and give a good look into the world we are now living in and have a reality check.  Being informed about the culture and dangers around us is crucial so we can be wise in how we combat Satan and all the ways he desires us to walk away from truly discipling our children as the Bible commands.

 

This lesson is more of a summary of the book written by George Barna of the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University.  The book is entitled,

“Raising Spiritual Champions”

 

For many years the Barna Group have be doing research into current trends in christianity.  This book is full of data that, quite honestly is depressing.  After reading this book I  was somewhat discouraged and fearful for the future of the Church.  Then I had to remind myself that the Church has always been under attack and the remnant ALWAYS remains.  Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world.  We want to be a part of that remnant, we and our children.

 

Barna defines a spiritual champion as someone who,”is devoted to fully imitating the life of Christ-thinking like Him, acting like Him, and living for Him.  This is the goal of christian parenting.  He explains that past research has shown parents who raised strong christian children who maintained their faith into adulthood engaged in many similar approaches.

 

Some tactics were:

Nurturing a solid, lasting relationship with the child

Prioritizing spiritual development

Establishing God as ultimate authority

Inflexible Bible based priorities and boundaries

Setting high but attainable expectations

Encouraging traditional values and character traits

Consistent discipling of each child

Influencing the choice of their children’s friends

Modeling and expecting spiritual practices every day

Aggressive management of social media

Encouraging participation in service to a local faith community

Consistency being the most important in these areas

Research shows that a person’s world view is usually established by the age of 13.

 

Current research shows us what 13-14 year olds believe today.

 

8% believe that the wealth they have is given to them by God for them to manage for His kingdom

 

10% believe there are moral truths

 

17% believe  success is defined as obedience to Christ

 

17% believe Jesus is only way to be forgiven of sin

 

18% believe the Bible to be their primary source of moral guidance

 

21% believe they will live eternally with God because they accepted Christ as their Savior

 

27% believe God is basis of all truth

 

70% say Satan does not exist

 

61% say Jesus sinned while on earth

 

12% read or study the Bible other than when at a church event

 

18% pray to God

 

20% intentionally thank, praise or worship God apart from Church events

 

There were more in the book yet this gives us a bleak picture of the average teen in America today.

 

 

The next group of statistics were taken by surveying parents who claimed to be Born Again Christians.  And these may answer the question of why youth are so far from a Biblical world view.

 

45% prioritize consistency

45% prioritize influencing friends

50% consider supervising social media as important

44% consider service to others as important

58% share their faith with their children

41% encourage participation in a church body

35% feel shaping a christian world view as important

 

When all was said and done only 11% of Born again Christian parents fit the profile of a parent raising spiritual champions.

 

The things parents ranked higher as priorities:

 

Academics, fun, a carefree lifestyle, life experiences, exercise and physical health

 

Disciple making only ranked at 23% importance

Only one third of parents have spiritual goals for their children and 23% think the spiritual development is up to the Church.

 

On that front, Barna warns you may want to know the following statistics.

 

A large nation wide survey among pastors of Christian churches showed that only 41% have a biblical world view and among children’s ministers it was only 21%.

 

Some views held by children’s ministers:

 

64% believe there is no absolute moral truth

 

53% accept reincarnation

 

56% accept sexual relations outside of marriage.

 

About half believe:

 

Jesus sinned while on earth

The Holy Spirit is not a living entity that affects lives

They would prefer socialism to capitalism

42% do not believe human life is sacred

54% say they are not certain they will live eternally with God when they die

 

So……………….

We are up against many oppositions to Christ and the teaching of the Bible.  We are bombarded everywhere with a secular world view and are told a Biblical world view is for the weak and ignorant.

 

What can we do as parents?

 

George Barna in his book,” Raising Spiritual Champions,” suggests getting to work on discipling our children despite what the world is doing.  It is a spiritual battle and we need to put on the armor of God and fight for our children.

 

Ephesians 6 :10 - 18

 

The belt of truth.   Accept the Word of God as truth.  Search for truth in all circumstances, every decision, and hold the Bible as the authority in the life of your family. And when God’s truth is revealed in the life of your family point it out to each other.

 

The breastplate of righteousness.   Obedience to God through his word must be our standard .  We must unapologetically hold our children to the standard of Christ.

 

Shoes of peace.    Conviction and confidence in the word of God , even if it goes against all that is around us brings us peace.  Peace with God.  Doing things God’s way brings peace in our lives as well avoiding all the chaos the worlds ways make.  Again, point out to your children when God’s ways brings about peace and when there are examples of the world’s ways bringing heartache.

 

Shield of faith.    Having faith in the Holy Spirit and Gods promises to transform us into the image of Christ develops the character of Christ in us.  It is transformed people who will help others experience transformation as well.

 

Helmet of salvation.    Knowing what Christ did for us compels us to draw a line in the sand and stand for His ways and HIs will

 

And Barna reminds us of the only offensive weapon  the sword of the spirit, the word of God.

Our guide and our love!

 

 

STUDY QUESTIONS

 

1.WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO WIN THE BATTLE FOR OUR CHILDREN’S SOULS?

 

2.Share the things that help you stay in the fight.

 

3. What are the things that challenge you the most?

 

Fear?

Comparison?

Looking foolish to the world?

Not having the strength?

Family members who oppose you?

 

4. What are the things that give you the most strength to keep fighting?

5. What would you like this group to study next?  To do? Suggestions are welcome for future studies.cp

WOMEN’S ROLES

LESSON 2

GAINING UNDERSTANDING

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As a young christian I once attended a ladies rally. I was so impressed with the speaker that day and although I can not remember her name or where she was from, I clung to a phrase she used and it has been a blessing in my life for many years. She spoke of dealing with difficult people in her life and how God had worked through those situations. Her words weren’t earth shattering and you may say it was not that profound but it pierced me to the heart. She said, “When dealing with people we must always seek to gain understanding.” There are reasons why people act the way they do. Instead of labeling someone and judging quickly, seek to understand their lives, their hearts and your feelings often soften and change.

I have thought about that so often as the years go by and it has helped me in my relationships as I seek to know someone and love someone. In my youth it was easy to quickly make a determination about someone and not put any effort into understanding them.

As wives and mothers God has given us a unique role of helper, as we examined in the last lesson. He has also equipped women with certain qualities to cause them to excel in this role.

GENERAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Men are very compartmentalized. They tend to think of one thing at a time. God has designed men to be protectors, providers, and they are task oriented. Women, on the other hand can think of multiple things at the same time and are better at multi tasking. Women are designed to be nurturers and can feel deeply for others. God asks us to have our primary focus on managing the home while men’s primary role is leadership and provision.

Women tend to be better communicators when it comes to the emotions. While men can set tasks and accomplish them, it often doesn’t take into account the feelings surrounding the action.

Of course there are exceptions but as a general rule these things are true.

Because women are gifted with these tender qualities I believe that we can set the tone in our homes and be that safe place for our family. If we take the time to “gain understanding” with our husbands, and our children we can foster healthy relationships within the home.

The opposite is also true. When we lack understanding of each other there is no peace.

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We adopted our foster son after he had been with us for 4 years. He was 8 years old. He had been taken out of his home at 4 years old due to his mother’s lack of ability to care for him well. At the time the state did not impress upon us the importance of therapy, and the challenges of attachment under these circumstances. As I look back we were not prepared for the difficulties that were inevitably coming. We did not have understanding, nor were we encouraged to gain understanding.

At 18 he left home and I was devastated. He no longer called me mom and all I felt was hurt. I had given so much and this was the way he thanked me? Lack of understanding lead to no peace, and anger, and broken relationships.
We sought help from a counselor and she was able to shed light on our situation. She explained what was going on in our son’s mind and heart and I was able to understand. I could love deeper and patiently wait until he grew through his emotions.

I wish I had known. I wish I had been prepared. I wish I had gained understanding sooner. God has healed and restored our relationship and I will always be mom now. I praise Him for being the God of restoration. But the lack of understanding caused pain for years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are called to be helpers. We spoke about how we are to help as God helps. I also think that God can be our example also as we seek to understand.

Our God knows us intimately!

Psalm 139: 1-4 “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar...even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.”

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Nahum 1:7. “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, He knows those who take refuge in Him.”

He knows our daily routines. He understands our thoughts. He is aware of our needs. We are fully known and loved by our Heavenly Father.

We can seek understanding in the same way.

Prov. 3:13. “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding.”

Prov 16:16 “How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.”

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Matt. 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers for they should be called the children of God”

Hebrews 12:14 “Pursue peace with everyone, as well as holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”

Rom. 14:19. “So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

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HAVING YOUR FINGER ON THE PULSE OF YOUR FAMILY

 

1.) Take the time to communicate with family members individually about their thoughts, desires, and struggles. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Show compassion and interest as they share. (This is more important than any household chore that needs to be done.)

 

2.) Find opportunities to grow as a couple. Attend events that focus on marriage. Read books together. Watch helpful podcasts.

 

3.) As you face behaviors that upset you seek to find out what is going on underneath. Don’t react right away before you pray and ponder what might be causing such behavior.

 

4.) Educate yourself with material that can enlighten you to the psychology of behavior. Our past experiences make us what we are. As we understand what may have contributed to our behavior it helps us find ways to change.

 

5.) Don’t be ashamed to admit we struggle. But don’t be closed to the fact that God can heal.

 

6.) Realize that it is a great calling to be the one who helps people understand. It is also a great burden. It takes sacrifice to put others first instead of just blaming and being angry. Selfishness will want to creep in and must be fought!

 

7.) It is exhausting sometimes. Have a trusted person in your life who can partner with you in prayer over your relationships.

 

8.) Remember that it is all worth it. It is worth every tear, every hard conversation, every feeling of rejection, every sleepless night to be the one who relentlessly seeks understanding, peace and love. There will be eternal blessings!

 

Galatians 6 : 7-10 “Do not be deceived; God is not to be mocked. Whatever a man sows, he will reap in return. The one who sows to please his flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; but the one who sows to please the Spirit, from Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to the family of faith.”

 

Some suggestions for resources

How We Love.                                                                                                Milan and Kay Yerkovich
Laugh your way to a better Marriage The Grace Marriage                        Mark Gungor

The Grace Marriage                                                                                       Brad and Marilyn Rhoads

You and Me Forever                                                                                       Francis and Lisa Chan                                                         

 5 Love Languages                                                                                        Gary Chapman


ADD YOUR OWN SUGGESTIONS

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