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Loving our Children
Lesson 3
Confidence

One of Satan's greatest tools is getting into our heads and creating doubt.  He knows that if he can shake our confidence, then he has a foothold into our life.  Do any of these phrases ever enter your mind?

I don't know if I am good enough.

I am such a looser.

I have nothing to offer.

If I try I will fail.

I worry too much to be effective.

I can't follow God consistently.

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I am sure from time to time we entertain thoughts similar to these.  I hate to break it to you but these statements ARE true.  True because they all focus on self.  Notice the emphasis. I don't. I am. I have. I will. I worry. I can't.  I, I, I.  The scriptures teach that no one is righteous, no one is wise (Apart from God.)

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Now, we all know people who are very capable and seem to have it all together.  There are people with many talents and abilities and it can be very intimidating to be around them.  I know there are people who excel apart from a relationship with Christ, however, my experience has been that to rise up and have confidence in our life as a parent takes relying on God to build us up through His spirit to be the woman God desires.  A confidence in self alone will eventually fail.  Our confidence has to be first in Christ, who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ever think or imagine.

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One man tells a story of a time he and his son were shopping.  The woman helping them was walking with a limp and he asked her if she was alright.  She explained about an injury and that she has hurt her ankle.  The man asked if he could pray for her and reluctantly she agreed.  After the prayer the man and his son left with their purchases. His son said to him as they were leaving, "Dad, we really do believe what we say we believe, don't we?"

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The question for today is, "Do we believe God?"  I didn't say Do we believe in God?  But do we really believe what we read in the Bible? Believing  brings confidence.  As we live like we really believe, we then experience the blessings of God and then our confidence grows and the cycle continues.  Renee Swope in her book, "A Confident Heart" says when we know the power of God's promises and live like they are true, then we become the women we want to be; a woman with a confident heart.

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"LIVE LIKE THE PROMISES OF GOD ARE TRUE"

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I must admit that I say I believe God but often doubt creeps in and then I don't live as if I trust all that God says.  I worry.  I fear. I can even despair.  Especially in the hard moments of life.  I focus on the mountain in front of me instead on the one who can move mountains.  Walking in complete faith is difficult.

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So, what are we to believe?

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We have gone over many times all the scriptures that say exactly who we are in Christ.  Refer to Lesson 1 in the Loving Myself series.  We are chosen, redeemed, loved, remembered, secure, able, called, thought of before we were created, etc.  And we have looked at the promises of God.

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The question we sometimes struggle with is, "Is God enough?"

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Renee Swope offers these questions

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Is God enough?

When a friend betrays me?

When I need to forgive the unforgivable?

When my child is having issues beyond my control?

When my marriage is in trouble?

When someone hates me?

When there is a serious illness in my family?

When others don't recognize my value?

When someone I love uses words that hurt me?

When I am having financial problems?

When my old self rears her ugly head?

When the world seems out of control?

When my health is declining?

When I am let down and disappointed?

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I seem to be very confident in our Savior when everything is going well but I too often question God when circumstances are not going as I would like.  I am realizing that in those difficult moments it is the best time to focus even more on the promises of God and a lifestyle that lives out a confidence in Him.

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When we question, it is time to renew our mind by taking our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.  When we wonder, "Where is God?" We can change our thoughts to, "I may not feel it but I know you are here."  And then look and we will see the many ways God is near to the broken hearted.

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After explaining how Christ's sacrifice was made once for all and how God has made a new covenant with His people, Hebrews 10 goes on to promise that He will remember our sins no longer.  Because of this truth we are told starting in verse 19 that we can boldly enter the Most Holy Place because of the blood of Christ.  It continues:

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Hebrews 10:23-25

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.  Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.  And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another especially now that the day of His return is drawing near."

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Hebrews 10: 32-39

"Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ.  Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering.  Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things.  You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy.  You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever.  So don't throw away this confident trust in the Lord.  Remember the great reward it brings you!  Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will.  Then you will receive all that He has promised."

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In our last lesson we talked about living counter culturally and living out our faith in front of our children.  That is the best way to teach a biblical world view.  And it is a major factor in why youth grow up to have their own strong Christian faith.

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The more we shackle our negative thoughts and do the mental work to replace them with god's promises, the more our confidence will grow.  The more God will show Himself strong in our life, and the more we will trust Him and the more we will live out that confidence.  The more we will believe.  The more we will trust.  Slowly, doubts and fears will be quelled.  But we need to be in HIs word constantly.

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​I used an object lesson with my Girls of Grace group to illustrate the concept of trusting in the Lord.  Even when it does not seem natural of even sensible.  I filled a gallon zip lock bag with water.  I held it up and asked the girls if they trusted me to pierce the bag with a sharp pencil through both sides of the bag without any of the water spilling out.  They were skeptical and as I held the bag over their heads and plunged the pencil into the bag they covered their heads fearing they would get wet.  After they saw that it worked and that they could trust me, I asked if they thought I could do it again.  More believed and wanted to see me do it a second time.  After that every girl wanted to do it for themself.  The bag was pierced many times and still no water spilled out.  Well, we know that science can explain why it was possible but I explained this is how it works with trusting God.  When you see that you can trust Him once, it is easy to trust Him a second time.  And as your life becomes a testament to the power of God and His kept promises, you inspire others to trust Him also.

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​So, as moms we can trust what God says as we parent.  We can be confident that making decisions based on God's word will yield a harvest in the lives of our children.  We can rely on scriptures like the following:

Proverbs 22:6,  Psalm 127: 3-5,  Ephesians 6: 1-4,  Deuteronomy 6: 5-9,  Hebrews 12: 7-11,  Colossians 3: 20-21, 

Isaiah 54:13,  Proverbs 1: 8-9.    And many more.

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Study Questions

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What disciplines do you have to help you live a life of confidence in the Lord?

When you doubt, what so you do to renew your mind?

WOMEN’S ROLES

Lesson 1

“ROLES, NOT IDENTITY”

 

As we look at the creation story in Genesis, we see that God was satisfied with each day of His handiwork.  We see the phrase “And God saw that it was good” over and over.  On the sixth day God said:

 

“Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness”  “So God created man in His own image.”

 

God ordained man to rule over creation.  The Bible says that male and female, He created them.  And God said it was not only good but “VERY good”

 

In Genesis 2:18 God indicates the first thing that He said was not good during the seven days of creation.  And that was, it was not good for man to be alone.  In all of creation, the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the beasts fo the land, there was not found a suitable helper for man.

 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept she took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh.  And from that rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.” Gen. 2: 21 and 22

 

Woman was created to be a “suitable helper”.  The King James Bible uses the term “Help Meet”  What does that mean?

 

As we look at scriptures that talk about the role of women, we can be thrust into so many emotions.  These scriptures can be hard to swallow.  But I ask the question, Are the scriptures difficult or is it my heart that is not soft enough to meditate on these verses? Do I have preconceived ideas, negative past experiences, or selfish, self preserving defenses that go up immediately as I look upon such ideas?

 

In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book entitled, “Helper by Design”  She says this about handling such scriptures as she started the project of writing her book:

 

“Honestly, there were days I strongly considered forsaking the whole project.  Then, when by God’s mercy, I once again regained forward motion, I felt I was walking in the dark…trying to learn what I just tripped over, picking up a stone, holding it…examining it, experiencing it.  What does the heat of this rock mean?  Is it really blistering hot or is it just that my hands are so cold?  Is it genuinely sharp?  Does it have to cut, or am I hanging on to it too tightly or holding it in the wrong places?”

 

I believe that as we look at what God instructs, it does not have to sting. If we open our heart to God’s instructions we will see something powerful and beautiful.

 

Let’s remember a few things before we begin.

 

  1. We are God’s beloved children.  (Eph. 5:1)

  2. Everything God instructs is for our own good and pleasure. (Jer. 29:11)

  3. God longs to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. (2 Chron. 16:9)(Psalm 37:4)

  4. We can only control ourselves. (Phil. 2:12-13 )

 

As women we fill many roles.   We are daughters and sisters. We may choose to marry taking on the role of helper and wife.  We may have children taking on the role of mother.  We may choose roles like teacher, health care provider, coach, boss of a company, etc.

We must remember that no matter the roles we fill,  they are not our identity.

Our identity is CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE.  This is the main point I want to get across in this lesson.  And I believe that if we put this truth into our hearts it will help us accept the role of helper to our husband. It will help us embrace the role in a different light.

 

As a christian woman, our goal in life is to reflect Christ in all we do.  To be His hands and feet.  We seek to glorify God with the work of our hands and to glorify and imitate God within any role we fill.

 

Elyse Fitzpatrick suggests that we can gain greater understanding of what a helper does if we imitate our Heavenly Father who is our great helper.

 

 

IN WHAT WAYS IS GOD OUR HELPER?

 

God strengthens-

Psalm 54:4 - “Behold, God is my helper:  The Lord is of them that uphold my soul.”

 

Isa. 41:10 - “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

 

Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

 

 

God sustains-

 

Isa. 46:4 - “I will be your God throughout your lifetime- Until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will cary you along and I will save you.”

 

God comforts-

 

2 Cor 1 : 3-4 “…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others….”

 

God protects-

 

2 Thes. 3:3 - “…The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.”

 

 

We can always count on God to hold to his promises.  So, in that light let’s answer these questions.

 

  1. Can our husband always count on us?

  2. How can we strengthen our husband?

  3. How can we help sustain him?

  4. What is the best way to comfort our husband?

  5. How can we protect our husband?

  6. How do we treat our husband in a time of trouble?

 

We all know that the world is a tough place.  As we go out to work and purchase and live our lives we can be knocked down in many ways.  I want our home and my presence to be a source of strength, comfort and protection to my husband and family.  I want my husband to want to come home because it is the place where he feels safe, secure, respected and a respite from the world.  As wives, we have the power to create an atmosphere that fosters those characteristics.

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Last night Frank came home and to my surprise he said to me, “ My eyes were really opened today.”  He had been out plowing snow for 13 hours. This caught my attention. “ I just want to thank you for being the kind of woman that you are.”  Ok. That was nice. Why was he compelled to say this?  Apparently he had witnessed some conversations where he was shocked at how the man in those conversations was being spoken to.  He heard great disrespect, ungratefulness, and ugliness.  He said he could not imagine being spoken to in the manner he had heard.  I said thank you and asked, “ So my nagging isn’t so bad?”

He laughed and said,”Bring it on!”

I love my husband with all my heart and was so thankful he sees me as a source of strength, comfort and a safe haven from the world.  I am not perfect by any means but I only want my husband to thrive in our lives and family.

 

 

 

 

Being a helper to our husband goes far deeper than just having dinner ready at a certain time.  It is not a lesser role.  It does not devalue us.  If anything it is a beautiful thing when we show the love that God shows. It is tremendously powerful when we “build our house”.  We want good things for the man we love.

 

As parents it is a wonderful gift to give our children; showing them how to love and honor another human being and to strive for what is good in another person’s life.

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