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Lesson 3 
Valuing Myself

VALUING MYSELF

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The value of something is often determined by how someone assigns worth to it.  Someone determines how useful something is or how much it is worth.  Value may be in terms of monetary worth or just how important something is.  It is possible that something can be worth a great deal to one person but be worthless to another.

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I struggled with this when I was cleaning out my mom's belongings after she died.  There were items that I knew were very meaningful to my mom and it was hard for me to throw them out.  These were things that were not of any monetary value but sentimental value.  The truth is that even though these things meant so much to her, they held no value to me.

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So value is subjective.

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In lesson one we admitted that we can easily fall into the practice of negative self talk.  We can put ourselves down and if we fall prey to this kind of thinking we are contributing to devaluing ourselves.  We may have people in our lives who belittle us or criticize us and we start to believe what they are saying.  Maybe we just don't think too highly of ourselves and become our own greatest critic even if no one else sees us that way.  Whatever our story, it is best to meditate on what God thinks of us.  Let's take a look at the value God, through Christ puts on us.

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GOD CREATED US

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From the beginning we can see our value; the only creation made in the image of God.

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Gen. 1:27 "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness..."

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GOD IS ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU

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As a mother thinks about her children, so God never forgets us.

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Is. 49:15  "Can a woman forget her nursing child, or lack compassion on the son of her womb?  Even if she could forget, I will not forget you."

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Psalm 139: 17-18   "How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God, how vast is their sum!  If I were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; and when I awake I am still with You."

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GOD HAS GREAT PLANS FOR YOU

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God not only thinks of you but He wants what is best for you.

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Jer. 29:11  "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith Jehovah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil to give you a hope."

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GOD LOVES YOU

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An almighty God who needs nothing to be complete chooses to love us.

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Jer. 31:3   "I have loved you with an everlasting love."

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GOD DIED TO PAY FOR OUR SINS

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Rom. 3:8   "While we were still sinners Christ died for us."

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GOD ADOPTED US AS CHILDREN

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God values us highly.  We are called His beloved children

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1 John 3:1-2   "Behold what manner of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God.  And that is what we are!  The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.  Beloved, we are now children of God and what we will be has not yet been revealed.  We know that when Christ appears, we will be like Him, for we will see Him as He is."

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It is interesting to note that in the day of Jesus women were not thought of very highly.  We could say that they were not valued by men at all.  They were oppressed, discounted and often treated badly.  It is often said that Christianity elevated women to a place of honor.  The teaching that husbands should treat their wives in an understanding way as co-heirs of Christ was very radical!

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1 Pet. 3:7   "Husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

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Don't take offense to the weaker vessel phrase.  This does not at all indicate weaker in value or importance.  Women generally are more fragile physically and emotionally.  But women are of equal value to God as heirs to the promise.  There is no partiality with God between men and women.  Both are valued highly and equally.  Men are instructed to understand their wives; a very difficult task, and be the protector.  The passage even states that if a man chooses not to treat his wife with respect, his prayers will be hindered.  Whether God won't hear his prayers or won't honor his prayers is up for debate.

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Let's look at value this way.....

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COMPARE THREE COFFEE CONTAINERS

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THE FOAM CUP - This cup is inexpensive and used for casual events.  It is disposable and easily replaced.  No one sets these cups in a glass cabinet for all to see.

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THE TRAVEL MUG - This cup will cost a bit more and does a better job of keeping our coffee hot.  But it is more durable.  It can take being dropped and still will most likely be ok.  We throw these in the back seat of the  car and often they stay there for days until we clean out the vehicle and then they come in with all the others to be washed.  We like our travel mug but can easily buy another if it gets lost.  They are found in every store.

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THE CHINA COFFEE CUP WITH SAUCER - This delicate china coffee cup is more costly.  It has a beautiful flower design on it that matches the saucer.  It is only used for the most important of occasions.  No one would dare bring it in the car for a long ride.  No one would think of throwing it away after one use.  It usually has a prominent  spot in the china cabinet and is handled with great care.  It is a pleasure to use this cup and it is washed with the most gentle of soaps by hand so not to chip the edges.

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What do we think of ourselves?

 

Cheap, disposable, nothing special?

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Easily banged around, thrown in the back seat to be remembered in a few days?

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Or are we unique, delicate, special, and valuable, set aside for a special purpose?

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I think God sees us as the china cup, lovely and used for the greatest of purposes; used for special occasions.  We are the vessel of the Holy Spirit and our lives should be used for His purposes.

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This is how God looks at His children.  Do we?

It is important as the image bearers of God to strive to see with the eyes of God.

As the old Amy Grant song says,

"She's got her Father's eyes.

Eyes that find the good in things when good is not around

Eyes that find the source of help when help just can't be found

Eyes full of compassion, seeing every pain

Knowing what you're going through and feeling it the same

Just like my Father's eyes."

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As Christian women we must value ourselves as God's precious creations so we can see value in others.  The safety and security that our children will find in our presence comes from them knowing that they are highly valued both by God and their parents.  That sure attachment and commitment of unconditional love will be huge in their spiritual growth.  Their worth is not in what they can or cannot do but in who they are; children who belong to God and your family.  They are yours.

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Prov. 31:10   "A wife of noble character, who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies."

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Prov. 31:28-30   "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things but you surpass them all.  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but the women who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Honor her for all that her hands have done and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

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STUDY QUESTIONS

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1)    How do you see yourself?  Foam cup, travel mug, or china cup?

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2)    Is it easy for you to see value in others?

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3)    Is it easy for you to see the value in your children for who they are?

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4)    Do you find your identity in what you do or in  who you are or in whose you are?

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WOMEN’S ROLES

Lesson 1

“ROLES, NOT IDENTITY”

 

As we look at the creation story in Genesis, we see that God was satisfied with each day of His handiwork.  We see the phrase “And God saw that it was good” over and over.  On the sixth day God said:

 

“Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness”  “So God created man in His own image.”

 

God ordained man to rule over creation.  The Bible says that male and female, He created them.  And God said it was not only good but “VERY good”

 

In Genesis 2:18 God indicates the first thing that He said was not good during the seven days of creation.  And that was, it was not good for man to be alone.  In all of creation, the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the beasts fo the land, there was not found a suitable helper for man.

 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept she took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh.  And from that rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.” Gen. 2: 21 and 22

 

Woman was created to be a “suitable helper”.  The King James Bible uses the term “Help Meet”  What does that mean?

 

As we look at scriptures that talk about the role of women, we can be thrust into so many emotions.  These scriptures can be hard to swallow.  But I ask the question, Are the scriptures difficult or is it my heart that is not soft enough to meditate on these verses? Do I have preconceived ideas, negative past experiences, or selfish, self preserving defenses that go up immediately as I look upon such ideas?

 

In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book entitled, “Helper by Design”  She says this about handling such scriptures as she started the project of writing her book:

 

“Honestly, there were days I strongly considered forsaking the whole project.  Then, when by God’s mercy, I once again regained forward motion, I felt I was walking in the dark…trying to learn what I just tripped over, picking up a stone, holding it…examining it, experiencing it.  What does the heat of this rock mean?  Is it really blistering hot or is it just that my hands are so cold?  Is it genuinely sharp?  Does it have to cut, or am I hanging on to it too tightly or holding it in the wrong places?”

 

I believe that as we look at what God instructs, it does not have to sting. If we open our heart to God’s instructions we will see something powerful and beautiful.

 

Let’s remember a few things before we begin.

 

  1. We are God’s beloved children.  (Eph. 5:1)

  2. Everything God instructs is for our own good and pleasure. (Jer. 29:11)

  3. God longs to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. (2 Chron. 16:9)(Psalm 37:4)

  4. We can only control ourselves. (Phil. 2:12-13 )

 

As women we fill many roles.   We are daughters and sisters. We may choose to marry taking on the role of helper and wife.  We may have children taking on the role of mother.  We may choose roles like teacher, health care provider, coach, boss of a company, etc.

We must remember that no matter the roles we fill,  they are not our identity.

Our identity is CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE.  This is the main point I want to get across in this lesson.  And I believe that if we put this truth into our hearts it will help us accept the role of helper to our husband. It will help us embrace the role in a different light.

 

As a christian woman, our goal in life is to reflect Christ in all we do.  To be His hands and feet.  We seek to glorify God with the work of our hands and to glorify and imitate God within any role we fill.

 

Elyse Fitzpatrick suggests that we can gain greater understanding of what a helper does if we imitate our Heavenly Father who is our great helper.

 

 

IN WHAT WAYS IS GOD OUR HELPER?

 

God strengthens-

Psalm 54:4 - “Behold, God is my helper:  The Lord is of them that uphold my soul.”

 

Isa. 41:10 - “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

 

Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

 

 

God sustains-

 

Isa. 46:4 - “I will be your God throughout your lifetime- Until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will cary you along and I will save you.”

 

God comforts-

 

2 Cor 1 : 3-4 “…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others….”

 

God protects-

 

2 Thes. 3:3 - “…The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.”

 

 

We can always count on God to hold to his promises.  So, in that light let’s answer these questions.

 

  1. Can our husband always count on us?

  2. How can we strengthen our husband?

  3. How can we help sustain him?

  4. What is the best way to comfort our husband?

  5. How can we protect our husband?

  6. How do we treat our husband in a time of trouble?

 

We all know that the world is a tough place.  As we go out to work and purchase and live our lives we can be knocked down in many ways.  I want our home and my presence to be a source of strength, comfort and protection to my husband and family.  I want my husband to want to come home because it is the place where he feels safe, secure, respected and a respite from the world.  As wives, we have the power to create an atmosphere that fosters those characteristics.

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Last night Frank came home and to my surprise he said to me, “ My eyes were really opened today.”  He had been out plowing snow for 13 hours. This caught my attention. “ I just want to thank you for being the kind of woman that you are.”  Ok. That was nice. Why was he compelled to say this?  Apparently he had witnessed some conversations where he was shocked at how the man in those conversations was being spoken to.  He heard great disrespect, ungratefulness, and ugliness.  He said he could not imagine being spoken to in the manner he had heard.  I said thank you and asked, “ So my nagging isn’t so bad?”

He laughed and said,”Bring it on!”

I love my husband with all my heart and was so thankful he sees me as a source of strength, comfort and a safe haven from the world.  I am not perfect by any means but I only want my husband to thrive in our lives and family.

 

 

 

 

Being a helper to our husband goes far deeper than just having dinner ready at a certain time.  It is not a lesser role.  It does not devalue us.  If anything it is a beautiful thing when we show the love that God shows. It is tremendously powerful when we “build our house”.  We want good things for the man we love.

 

As parents it is a wonderful gift to give our children; showing them how to love and honor another human being and to strive for what is good in another person’s life.

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