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Loving our Children
Lesson 2

Isaiah 55:3 - "Incline your ear and come to Me; so that your soul may live."

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Isaiah 55:6 - "Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near."

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​Isaiah 55:8 - "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, "declares the Lord. "For                         as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My

                       thoughts than your thoughts."

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1 Cor. 1:27 - "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.  God chose the weak things of                        the world to shame the strong."

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Isaiah 29:14 - "These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips but their hearts

                         are far from Me.  Their worship of Me is but rules taught by men."

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Rom. 12:2 - "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then

                     you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."

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I recently asked several young adults who had a strong christian faith to rank the top two things that they believe contributed to that faith in their lives.  Although not identical, the answers had a similar theme.  First and foremost was the example set in their childhood.  They sited that being taught a Biblical World View was instrumental in their faith building.  But, not just being taught.  The second thing was seeing authentic christians living out their faith in front of them.  The individuals surveyed stated the importance of witnessing the christian life in action and being guided in discerning what is God honoring.  Two said that after being taught, they then began to see the wisdom of the christian life as they saw God working in their choices.  This just confirmed for them that the Gospel is indeed truth.

Just before Jesus made His way to the garden  on the night of His arrest He prayed for His disciples.

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"But now I am coming to You; and I am saying these things while I am in the world, so that they may have My joy fulfilled within them.  I have given them Your word and the world has hated them.  For they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.  I am not asking that You take them  out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one.  They are not of the wold, just as I am not of the world.  Sanctify them by the truth; Your word is truth."

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It is clear that scripture teaches us to live our lives here IN the world by rejecting the wisdom of the world.  We then are to walk by faith in the word of God.  I like to call it  LIVING COUNTER-CULTURALLY

Daring to be different can be difficult.

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It was said of the early believers that they "turned the world upside-down" (Acts 17:6). The messages of Christ were radical and it can be argued that they still are today.  Western culture is very selfish focusing around how you look.  Our society is all about branding, slick advertiding, and social image.  People seek power and prestige.

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In such a culture it is easy to loose sight of the fact that God delights in displaying His power through our weakness.  God chooses what is foolish to shame the wise.

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Alex Kocman in the article entitled, "5 Foolish, Simple Things God uses" said,

 

" We put together Westerners ought to slow down as we read this chapter (1Cor. 1) so as not to trip over these words.  There's an ironic beauty to how God uses lowly, weak things to demonstrate His power, but if we focus on only what is hip, new, appealing, and comfortable, we will miss God Himself."

I tried hard to teach my children that the flashy things of the world can be deceptive.  We learned to live without many of the things that the world said you needed.  One day I took my son out to get a pair of sneakers.  He was quite content to buy a Walmart brand and had no issues with it at all.  All of a sudden I started to feel scared inside.  What if the other kids make fun of him for having sneakers from Walmart?  I found myself asking him, "Wouldn't you rather have a name brand sneaker?"  He said, "NO!"  Why was I letting the pressure of the world play out in that moment?  Something so little could have undermined all the teaching he had embraced.  A small example but it shows how easily the worldly ways can just creep in when you least expect it.

So, how do we live IN this world and not be a part OF the world?

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1)   SANCTIFY YOURSELF IN THE TRUTH

 

      Jesus tells us the remedy to worldly living in the prayer mentioned above.  He said, " Sanctify them by the truth, Your 

      word is truth." 

      We have to choose what we are going to do with the word of God.  Is it the unwavering guide for our lives?  Are we                convicted in the truth of the Bible?

      I believe that choice is initially made upon our conversion but daily we have to also choose to accept the word as we

      encounter our live experiences.  Will I choose to obey the word when it seems nonsensical, when it is hard, when it is 

      uncomfortable?  Will we trust that God's promises are all true?

 

2)  COMMIT TO DEVELOPING HABITS THAT SUPPORT A LIFE OF OBEDIENCE

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     Bible reading and study

     Fellowship with believers

     Worship of the One True God

     Prayer

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     The early church devoted themselves to the Apostles doctrine, fellowship, breaking of bread, and to prayer. (Acts 2:42)

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3)  FILL YOUR LIFE WITH GOOD AND GODLY THINGS

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     Be mindful of what you are feeding yourself.  And I am not talking about physical food.  Check the things you are

     putting into your heart and mind.  Only take in that which is holy and points you to Jesus.

     Also take time to purge sin and hindrances from your daily life.

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4)  PRACTICE CONFESSING JESUS

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     Find ways to share your faith with those you come in contact with.  As the Holy Spirit develops in you the fruit of

     the Spirit, demonstrate them to others.

LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, GOODNESS, KINDNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS,

SELF CONTROL

    Don't keep hidden the joy of His salvation you possess.

    Don't be ashamed to speak the name of Jesus.

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5)  NOTICE DAILY DIVINES

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      Make it a practice to notice the small, simple ways that God works every day.  Take note of how God is assuring 

      you that you are loved and cared for by Him.  Focus on the good of His Kingdom, His people, and His love. 

      As we put away criticism and negative thoughts, we are then free to see the never ending blessings of the creator

      of the universe and we will be able to see the amazing ways God works in the simple daily walk.  His banner over

     us is love and it can cover anything that Satan puts our there.  All praise and honor are His alone.

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6)  DON'T EVER DESPISE OR PUT DOWN THAT WHICH SEEMS FOOLISH TO THE WORLD

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    BE A CHAMPION OF THE RADICAL MESSAGE OF JESUS

LOVE OVER HATE

FORGIVENESS OVER REVENGE

LOOSING LIFE TO FIND IT

THE LAST OVER THE FIRST

SUBMISSION TO FIND FREEDOM

A CHILD'S HEART OVER POWER

JESUS, THE ONLY WAY, TRUTH AND LIFE

THE LEAST BEING THE GREATEST

ADD YOUR OWN                            ____________________________________________

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How do we then INSTILL the same desire in our children?

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Follow the 6 steps above and live it out in front of your children!

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There are no guarantees that our children will choose a strong Christian faith.  The world is enticing and Satan is crafty and great at what he does.  However, the promise of God is that "He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world."  The word of  the Lord will not fail us.  The faithful life in Christ brings abundant joy and is a beacon of hope.  Even if our children choose another way they will always see the light of our lives there beckoning them to return to Jesus.

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The reason why God chooses to use the simple, meek things of the world to bring about His purposes is because then no-one can claim the glory.   It is obvious then that it was God and God alone who deserves the credit and praise.  In our weakness, He is strong.

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1 Cor. 1 ends like this:

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"Brothers, consider the time of your calling: not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were powerful; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast in His presence.  It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God: our righteousness, holiness, and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord."

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STUDY QUESTIONS​

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1)  Are you tempted by worldly wisdom?

2)  How do you combat that temptation?

3)  What are practical ways you teach your children to follow Godly wisdom?

4)  What are some family habits you have established to train your children in the Lord?

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WOMEN’S ROLES

LESSON 2

GAINING UNDERSTANDING

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As a young christian I once attended a ladies rally. I was so impressed with the speaker that day and although I can not remember her name or where she was from, I clung to a phrase she used and it has been a blessing in my life for many years. She spoke of dealing with difficult people in her life and how God had worked through those situations. Her words weren’t earth shattering and you may say it was not that profound but it pierced me to the heart. She said, “When dealing with people we must always seek to gain understanding.” There are reasons why people act the way they do. Instead of labeling someone and judging quickly, seek to understand their lives, their hearts and your feelings often soften and change.

I have thought about that so often as the years go by and it has helped me in my relationships as I seek to know someone and love someone. In my youth it was easy to quickly make a determination about someone and not put any effort into understanding them.

As wives and mothers God has given us a unique role of helper, as we examined in the last lesson. He has also equipped women with certain qualities to cause them to excel in this role.

GENERAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Men are very compartmentalized. They tend to think of one thing at a time. God has designed men to be protectors, providers, and they are task oriented. Women, on the other hand can think of multiple things at the same time and are better at multi tasking. Women are designed to be nurturers and can feel deeply for others. God asks us to have our primary focus on managing the home while men’s primary role is leadership and provision.

Women tend to be better communicators when it comes to the emotions. While men can set tasks and accomplish them, it often doesn’t take into account the feelings surrounding the action.

Of course there are exceptions but as a general rule these things are true.

Because women are gifted with these tender qualities I believe that we can set the tone in our homes and be that safe place for our family. If we take the time to “gain understanding” with our husbands, and our children we can foster healthy relationships within the home.

The opposite is also true. When we lack understanding of each other there is no peace.

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We adopted our foster son after he had been with us for 4 years. He was 8 years old. He had been taken out of his home at 4 years old due to his mother’s lack of ability to care for him well. At the time the state did not impress upon us the importance of therapy, and the challenges of attachment under these circumstances. As I look back we were not prepared for the difficulties that were inevitably coming. We did not have understanding, nor were we encouraged to gain understanding.

At 18 he left home and I was devastated. He no longer called me mom and all I felt was hurt. I had given so much and this was the way he thanked me? Lack of understanding lead to no peace, and anger, and broken relationships.
We sought help from a counselor and she was able to shed light on our situation. She explained what was going on in our son’s mind and heart and I was able to understand. I could love deeper and patiently wait until he grew through his emotions.

I wish I had known. I wish I had been prepared. I wish I had gained understanding sooner. God has healed and restored our relationship and I will always be mom now. I praise Him for being the God of restoration. But the lack of understanding caused pain for years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are called to be helpers. We spoke about how we are to help as God helps. I also think that God can be our example also as we seek to understand.

Our God knows us intimately!

Psalm 139: 1-4 “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar...even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.”

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Nahum 1:7. “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, He knows those who take refuge in Him.”

He knows our daily routines. He understands our thoughts. He is aware of our needs. We are fully known and loved by our Heavenly Father.

We can seek understanding in the same way.

Prov. 3:13. “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding.”

Prov 16:16 “How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.”

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Matt. 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers for they should be called the children of God”

Hebrews 12:14 “Pursue peace with everyone, as well as holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”

Rom. 14:19. “So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

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HAVING YOUR FINGER ON THE PULSE OF YOUR FAMILY

 

1.) Take the time to communicate with family members individually about their thoughts, desires, and struggles. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Show compassion and interest as they share. (This is more important than any household chore that needs to be done.)

 

2.) Find opportunities to grow as a couple. Attend events that focus on marriage. Read books together. Watch helpful podcasts.

 

3.) As you face behaviors that upset you seek to find out what is going on underneath. Don’t react right away before you pray and ponder what might be causing such behavior.

 

4.) Educate yourself with material that can enlighten you to the psychology of behavior. Our past experiences make us what we are. As we understand what may have contributed to our behavior it helps us find ways to change.

 

5.) Don’t be ashamed to admit we struggle. But don’t be closed to the fact that God can heal.

 

6.) Realize that it is a great calling to be the one who helps people understand. It is also a great burden. It takes sacrifice to put others first instead of just blaming and being angry. Selfishness will want to creep in and must be fought!

 

7.) It is exhausting sometimes. Have a trusted person in your life who can partner with you in prayer over your relationships.

 

8.) Remember that it is all worth it. It is worth every tear, every hard conversation, every feeling of rejection, every sleepless night to be the one who relentlessly seeks understanding, peace and love. There will be eternal blessings!

 

Galatians 6 : 7-10 “Do not be deceived; God is not to be mocked. Whatever a man sows, he will reap in return. The one who sows to please his flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; but the one who sows to please the Spirit, from Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to the family of faith.”

 

Some suggestions for resources

How We Love.                                                                                                Milan and Kay Yerkovich
Laugh your way to a better Marriage The Grace Marriage                        Mark Gungor

The Grace Marriage                                                                                       Brad and Marilyn Rhoads

You and Me Forever                                                                                       Francis and Lisa Chan                                                         

 5 Love Languages                                                                                        Gary Chapman


ADD YOUR OWN SUGGESTIONS

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