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Lesson 1
Building With The Correct Mindset
 

Our theme verse comes from

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Proverbs 14:1. “Every wise woman builds her house but the foolish

tears it down with her own hands”

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As women and moms it is important that we understand the power we possess to make

or break the atmosphere of our families. It may not seem fair but we do have the power

to build up or tear down. Remember the old saying, “If momma ain’t happy, nobody is

happy” ?

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Proverbs 24: 3-4. “By wisdom a house is built and by understanding it

is established. And by knowledge the rooms are filled with all

precious and pleasant riches”

 

To be an effective builder we must have the right mindset. One that honors God.

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Proverbs 23:7 “As a man thinks, so he is”

Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world but be

transformed by the renewing of your mind."

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Parenting is often a thankless job.

It is exhausting both mentally and physically.

It can leave us feeling unimportant, unproductive, and insignificant.

The daily tasks of motherhood are often mundane.

Shifting the mindset to recognize that God has entrusted your children to you and you

are the perfect mom for them. No one will ever love your children more than you.

 

In the video I shared how I wanted to work a ministry but didn’t realize that the ministry that was

most important was my family. A change of mindset was required.

 

You are the first picture of Jesus they will ever see. You are the first to speak into your

children to shape who they will become.

* What do your children see as they look at you?

* What are they learning as they observe you dealing with life?

 

In the mundane tasks of motherhood it is easy to feel that you are not doing anything of

importance.

Keep in mind that your children are going to be amazing people someday and you have

a hand in what they become.

 

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is

old he will not depart form it”

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Isaiah 54:13 “All your children shall be taught by the Lord and great

shall be the peace of your children”

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Training up children in the Lord brings peace to their lives.

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From my vantage point now with my children grown I can see clearly what I had an influence on.

Bibles being translated in Africa

Gospel being preached in Texas and Missouri

Troubled youth being ministered to

Medical care going to the African coast

Christian music being written and shared

Ministries being served in

Strong marriages

Faithful friends

And the list goes on

If only I could have thought of these things when I felt like I was having no impact. It would have made

the day to day seem more tolerable.

 

 

So when you are feeling like you are not progressing..................

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1) Remember the importance of your role

We see only one small moment but God sees the entire picture

So persevere. Your children have the potential to do great things in this world and your

guidance in that is not insignificant.

 

2) Remember the importance of God’s strength

I promise that you do not have the strength to do this on your own.

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2 Corinthians 12:9. “My grace is sufficient for you and my power is

perfected in weakness”

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God can do mighty things in our weakness and as we humble ourselves before the Lord

He works! Humble yourself before God and He will lift you up! (James 4:10)

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3) Remember the importance of God’s wisdom

We have not been left clueless. The old saying is that babies don’t come with

manuals. But there are so many scriptures that guide us on our parenting journey. We

have the perfect manual.

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4) Remember God’s grace

 

​Lamentations 3:22 “The Lord’s loving kindnesses indeed never

cease. His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great

is Your faithfulness.”

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No matter how badly we mess up every morning is a new day and filled with mercy.

God forgives. We must learn to forgive ourselves.

The prayer I repeated the most during my parenting years was usually prayed at night when I rested my

head to sleep. I would ask God to please fix all the mistakes I had made that day.

 

STUDY QUESTIONS

 

1) What is your greatest mind battle?

2) How do you try to renew your mind concerning this?

3) Share a time when you knew your mindset was not effective and needed changing.

How did you change it?

4) What part of parenting do you currently find the most difficult?

5) What victories are you experiencing in your life as a mom?

WOMEN’S ROLES

Lesson 1

“ROLES, NOT IDENTITY”

 

As we look at the creation story in Genesis, we see that God was satisfied with each day of His handiwork.  We see the phrase “And God saw that it was good” over and over.  On the sixth day God said:

 

“Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness”  “So God created man in His own image.”

 

God ordained man to rule over creation.  The Bible says that male and female, He created them.  And God said it was not only good but “VERY good”

 

In Genesis 2:18 God indicates the first thing that He said was not good during the seven days of creation.  And that was, it was not good for man to be alone.  In all of creation, the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the beasts fo the land, there was not found a suitable helper for man.

 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept she took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh.  And from that rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.” Gen. 2: 21 and 22

 

Woman was created to be a “suitable helper”.  The King James Bible uses the term “Help Meet”  What does that mean?

 

As we look at scriptures that talk about the role of women, we can be thrust into so many emotions.  These scriptures can be hard to swallow.  But I ask the question, Are the scriptures difficult or is it my heart that is not soft enough to meditate on these verses? Do I have preconceived ideas, negative past experiences, or selfish, self preserving defenses that go up immediately as I look upon such ideas?

 

In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book entitled, “Helper by Design”  She says this about handling such scriptures as she started the project of writing her book:

 

“Honestly, there were days I strongly considered forsaking the whole project.  Then, when by God’s mercy, I once again regained forward motion, I felt I was walking in the dark…trying to learn what I just tripped over, picking up a stone, holding it…examining it, experiencing it.  What does the heat of this rock mean?  Is it really blistering hot or is it just that my hands are so cold?  Is it genuinely sharp?  Does it have to cut, or am I hanging on to it too tightly or holding it in the wrong places?”

 

I believe that as we look at what God instructs, it does not have to sting. If we open our heart to God’s instructions we will see something powerful and beautiful.

 

Let’s remember a few things before we begin.

 

  1. We are God’s beloved children.  (Eph. 5:1)

  2. Everything God instructs is for our own good and pleasure. (Jer. 29:11)

  3. God longs to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. (2 Chron. 16:9)(Psalm 37:4)

  4. We can only control ourselves. (Phil. 2:12-13 )

 

As women we fill many roles.   We are daughters and sisters. We may choose to marry taking on the role of helper and wife.  We may have children taking on the role of mother.  We may choose roles like teacher, health care provider, coach, boss of a company, etc.

We must remember that no matter the roles we fill,  they are not our identity.

Our identity is CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE.  This is the main point I want to get across in this lesson.  And I believe that if we put this truth into our hearts it will help us accept the role of helper to our husband. It will help us embrace the role in a different light.

 

As a christian woman, our goal in life is to reflect Christ in all we do.  To be His hands and feet.  We seek to glorify God with the work of our hands and to glorify and imitate God within any role we fill.

 

Elyse Fitzpatrick suggests that we can gain greater understanding of what a helper does if we imitate our Heavenly Father who is our great helper.

 

 

IN WHAT WAYS IS GOD OUR HELPER?

 

God strengthens-

Psalm 54:4 - “Behold, God is my helper:  The Lord is of them that uphold my soul.”

 

Isa. 41:10 - “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

 

Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

 

 

God sustains-

 

Isa. 46:4 - “I will be your God throughout your lifetime- Until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will cary you along and I will save you.”

 

God comforts-

 

2 Cor 1 : 3-4 “…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others….”

 

God protects-

 

2 Thes. 3:3 - “…The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.”

 

 

We can always count on God to hold to his promises.  So, in that light let’s answer these questions.

 

  1. Can our husband always count on us?

  2. How can we strengthen our husband?

  3. How can we help sustain him?

  4. What is the best way to comfort our husband?

  5. How can we protect our husband?

  6. How do we treat our husband in a time of trouble?

 

We all know that the world is a tough place.  As we go out to work and purchase and live our lives we can be knocked down in many ways.  I want our home and my presence to be a source of strength, comfort and protection to my husband and family.  I want my husband to want to come home because it is the place where he feels safe, secure, respected and a respite from the world.  As wives, we have the power to create an atmosphere that fosters those characteristics.

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Last night Frank came home and to my surprise he said to me, “ My eyes were really opened today.”  He had been out plowing snow for 13 hours. This caught my attention. “ I just want to thank you for being the kind of woman that you are.”  Ok. That was nice. Why was he compelled to say this?  Apparently he had witnessed some conversations where he was shocked at how the man in those conversations was being spoken to.  He heard great disrespect, ungratefulness, and ugliness.  He said he could not imagine being spoken to in the manner he had heard.  I said thank you and asked, “ So my nagging isn’t so bad?”

He laughed and said,”Bring it on!”

I love my husband with all my heart and was so thankful he sees me as a source of strength, comfort and a safe haven from the world.  I am not perfect by any means but I only want my husband to thrive in our lives and family.

 

 

 

 

Being a helper to our husband goes far deeper than just having dinner ready at a certain time.  It is not a lesser role.  It does not devalue us.  If anything it is a beautiful thing when we show the love that God shows. It is tremendously powerful when we “build our house”.  We want good things for the man we love.

 

As parents it is a wonderful gift to give our children; showing them how to love and honor another human being and to strive for what is good in another person’s life.

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