Lesson 4
Building With Grace
The old covenant was a system of law. The way you stayed in good standing with God was to keep the law, however it was impossible to keep the law perfectly. That is why God put in place a requirement of sacrifice to appease for sin. It was laborious. The requirements of the law demanded attendance at the feasts in Jerusalem, offering a tenth of your income, offering sacrifices, etc. The number of laws to be followed is long and found in the books of Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers. Deuteronomy also reiterates the law. Anyone who wades through these books must admit that it is a difficult read. Living under the law caused one to think that at any moment you might find yourself in violation of a law of God.
Jeremiah prophesied around 600 BC, long before the birth of the incarnate Jesus, that a change was coming.
JEREMIAH 31:31-33- "Behold, days are coming declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them, declares the Lord. But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord, I will put My law within them and on their hearts I will write it; and I will be their God and they will be my people."
Although the law was necessary to educate the world concerning sin it was not God's complete plan. Galatians 3 starting with verse 15 explains the intent of the law. The law was a tutor pointing the world to Jesus.
GALATIANS 3:22-25- "But the Scripture has shut up everyone under sin, so that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe. But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed. Therefore the law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor."
Jesus changed everything. Physical has changed to spiritual.
ROMANS 8:3-4 - For what the law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the spirit."
In Matthew 5 we see the lessons Jesus teaches to the crowd on the mountain. Often Jesus uses the phrases, "You have heard it said....But I say to you...." Jesus changed everything! What was once a system of rules and regulations that could never be completed perfectly in now a system of grace. The freedom to love and worship a God who forgives freely those who are His children.
GALATIANS 3 continues starting in verse 26- "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
We are heirs according to the promise given to Abraham years before the law was established.
I realize that these are heavy theological truths and you may be thinking what does this have to do with parenting. It is important to understand the process of law of grace to be successful parents. We all tend to have a bent in one direction or the other. To be the best model of Jesus to our children we must be people of grace.
In Leviticus 20:10 we see the law that required death for those caught in adultery yet we also see how Jesus dealt with a woman who caught in adultery in John 8. His amazing words that defused the entire ugly, dark situation were, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Yes, Jesus changed everything. He certainly did not indicate that he was ok with adultery now but modeled for us a new way to treat each other. Grace over condemnation. I am so glad that is how Jesus now deals with em. He was able to say, "Go and sin no more." I know I am more apt to change when I have been dealt with lovingly and with grace.
I find it interesting that immediately after the encounter with the woman caught in adultery the scripture says, "Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of light. "
Stoning for adultery is a dark act filled with anger and hatred. Could it be that forgiving and realizing that we all have sin shines the light of who Jesus is, the Light of the world?
So, Is our home a law based home or a grace filled home?
Proverbs 15:1- "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 11:16- "A gracious woman attains honor...A merciful man does himself good...He who sows righteousness gets a true reward...He who is steadfast in righteousness will attain to life."
Law based living is exhausting for everyone. We all know the people who live this way. You can
never get a new idea across without them finding a reason why it can’t be done. They are
always looking for what others are doing wrong and are very anxious to bring it to their
attention. The people who are with them have to walk on eggshells for fear that they too will be
scolded for doing something that is against the rules. My dad was difficult and you never knew
when he would get upset. I found myself constantly second guessing everything I was doing so
not to get on his bad side so to speak. As my Christian life developed I found myself viewing
God in the same way I saw my dad, a bully, always looking for a mistake so he could come
down on me. I was frustrated and tired. I also found myself judging others more harshly about
all the things that they were doing “wrong”. With much prayer and scripture study I came to
realize that God is our loving father, who lavishes so much grace on us it is hard to grasp. My
love for Him has grown so much and I am thankful for the freedom in Him. I follow Him so much
more diligently because of His love, not because He is out to get me.
Rules are essential for the household but rules without grace will only develop in your children anger, discouragement, fear, lack of confidence, and a judgmental spirit.
Grace develops joy, freedom, security and a deep love for a God who knows all about us yet loves us anyway!
Three Phases of GRACE
A) Young ones- EXPERIENCE- parent gives grace by withholding due punishment, consequences. This is done purposely. Encourage grace by giving to others without getting something in return. Grace is modeled for them. Grace makes children feel safe.
B) Teens- APPRECIATE- grace as seen in the gift of Jesus. The gospel will touch their heart, and they will begin to ask about salvation.
C) Mature- EXTEND- people who are offended and yet forgive, and give grace. They are gracious from their own heart because of Christ and for the sake of His name.
Grace can be difficult; to extend it to others and even harder to extend it to ourselves.
Only two questions for this lesson:
1. In what ways do you need to extend more grace?
2. In what ways do you feel you need more grace to be extended to you?