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My New Mantra

  • Jan 24, 2023
  • 3 min read

Updated: Jan 25, 2023

I can't tell you how many times I get so frustrated with myself. I have been a follower of Jesus for over 30 years yet I still question, doubt, fear, and wonder. It bothers me often and I wonder if I have any faith at all. At the same time, I love God and adore His son, Jesus, and I am forever grateful for the Spirit who dwells within me. Why the vacillating? Why am I so fickle?


Time and time again the scriptures tell us to be strong in the Lord. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Cast your cares on Him, the author and perfecter of our faith. I find this easier said than done.

The cares of the world just creep in to distract us, unnerve us, frighten us, and discourage us. I wish I could be more constant in my resolve, more sure of my convictions, and better at obtaining that peace that surpasses understanding


I know Jesus often got frustrated with HIs followers during His time on earth. In Mark 9:19 He proclaims, "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you?"..."

At this time a father had brought his son to the disciples. His son had an evil spirit within him that made him convulse and foam at the mouth. The disciples were unable to heal the boy so the father asked Jesus for a healing. The man said, "If you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." Jesus replied, "If you can? All things are possible to him that believes." The father immediately cried out, "I BELIEVE; help my unbelief." Jesus did have compassion and healed the boy.


It amuses me a bit to see that after this event the disciples were still unaware of the things Jesus was teaching. They did not understand the teachings about the death Jesus would suffer and the resurrection to come. They began arguing about who would be the greatest in the Kingdom. Jesus lovingly continued to instruct them.


Not so amusing is the fact that we have the revealed word of God. We are privileged to know the complete story of God. We know the whole plan of God yet I relate to the disciples all too often in my lack of understanding of Jesus and His teachings. And worse, when I know the teachings well, I still fall short. I still miss the mark. I still give Satan a foothold from time to time. And I hate that.


When the followers of Jesus asked Him why they could not cast the evil spirit out of the boy, He said that this kind could only come out by prayer. James says that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Philippians 4 tells us to be anxious for nothing but by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace that passes understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Jesus, Himself said, "all things are possible to those who believe." Prayer and belief must be paired together. We must pray being certain that God is listening and He will answer.


I want to cry out, "I BELIEVE" but have to add, "help my unbelief." But maybe that is what I need to do. This is my new mantra. I know my gracious Lord understands me. He lovingly continues to teach me with patience as I deepen my prayer life and increase my faith.


He is a good Father. I am His daughter. He loves me, faults and all. Like I love my children and lovingly teach and encourage them, our God does the same for us. As His children who believe, He will be faithful to increase our faith and help our unbelief as we pray diligently for his compassion and help.


Jesus I BELIEVE! Please help my unbelief.


 
 
 

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WOMEN’S ROLES

LESSON 2

GAINING UNDERSTANDING

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As a young christian I once attended a ladies rally. I was so impressed with the speaker that day and although I can not remember her name or where she was from, I clung to a phrase she used and it has been a blessing in my life for many years. She spoke of dealing with difficult people in her life and how God had worked through those situations. Her words weren’t earth shattering and you may say it was not that profound but it pierced me to the heart. She said, “When dealing with people we must always seek to gain understanding.” There are reasons why people act the way they do. Instead of labeling someone and judging quickly, seek to understand their lives, their hearts and your feelings often soften and change.

I have thought about that so often as the years go by and it has helped me in my relationships as I seek to know someone and love someone. In my youth it was easy to quickly make a determination about someone and not put any effort into understanding them.

As wives and mothers God has given us a unique role of helper, as we examined in the last lesson. He has also equipped women with certain qualities to cause them to excel in this role.

GENERAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Men are very compartmentalized. They tend to think of one thing at a time. God has designed men to be protectors, providers, and they are task oriented. Women, on the other hand can think of multiple things at the same time and are better at multi tasking. Women are designed to be nurturers and can feel deeply for others. God asks us to have our primary focus on managing the home while men’s primary role is leadership and provision.

Women tend to be better communicators when it comes to the emotions. While men can set tasks and accomplish them, it often doesn’t take into account the feelings surrounding the action.

Of course there are exceptions but as a general rule these things are true.

Because women are gifted with these tender qualities I believe that we can set the tone in our homes and be that safe place for our family. If we take the time to “gain understanding” with our husbands, and our children we can foster healthy relationships within the home.

The opposite is also true. When we lack understanding of each other there is no peace.

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We adopted our foster son after he had been with us for 4 years. He was 8 years old. He had been taken out of his home at 4 years old due to his mother’s lack of ability to care for him well. At the time the state did not impress upon us the importance of therapy, and the challenges of attachment under these circumstances. As I look back we were not prepared for the difficulties that were inevitably coming. We did not have understanding, nor were we encouraged to gain understanding.

At 18 he left home and I was devastated. He no longer called me mom and all I felt was hurt. I had given so much and this was the way he thanked me? Lack of understanding lead to no peace, and anger, and broken relationships.
We sought help from a counselor and she was able to shed light on our situation. She explained what was going on in our son’s mind and heart and I was able to understand. I could love deeper and patiently wait until he grew through his emotions.

I wish I had known. I wish I had been prepared. I wish I had gained understanding sooner. God has healed and restored our relationship and I will always be mom now. I praise Him for being the God of restoration. But the lack of understanding caused pain for years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are called to be helpers. We spoke about how we are to help as God helps. I also think that God can be our example also as we seek to understand.

Our God knows us intimately!

Psalm 139: 1-4 “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar...even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.”

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Nahum 1:7. “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, He knows those who take refuge in Him.”

He knows our daily routines. He understands our thoughts. He is aware of our needs. We are fully known and loved by our Heavenly Father.

We can seek understanding in the same way.

Prov. 3:13. “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding.”

Prov 16:16 “How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.”

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Matt. 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers for they should be called the children of God”

Hebrews 12:14 “Pursue peace with everyone, as well as holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”

Rom. 14:19. “So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

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HAVING YOUR FINGER ON THE PULSE OF YOUR FAMILY

 

1.) Take the time to communicate with family members individually about their thoughts, desires, and struggles. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Show compassion and interest as they share. (This is more important than any household chore that needs to be done.)

 

2.) Find opportunities to grow as a couple. Attend events that focus on marriage. Read books together. Watch helpful podcasts.

 

3.) As you face behaviors that upset you seek to find out what is going on underneath. Don’t react right away before you pray and ponder what might be causing such behavior.

 

4.) Educate yourself with material that can enlighten you to the psychology of behavior. Our past experiences make us what we are. As we understand what may have contributed to our behavior it helps us find ways to change.

 

5.) Don’t be ashamed to admit we struggle. But don’t be closed to the fact that God can heal.

 

6.) Realize that it is a great calling to be the one who helps people understand. It is also a great burden. It takes sacrifice to put others first instead of just blaming and being angry. Selfishness will want to creep in and must be fought!

 

7.) It is exhausting sometimes. Have a trusted person in your life who can partner with you in prayer over your relationships.

 

8.) Remember that it is all worth it. It is worth every tear, every hard conversation, every feeling of rejection, every sleepless night to be the one who relentlessly seeks understanding, peace and love. There will be eternal blessings!

 

Galatians 6 : 7-10 “Do not be deceived; God is not to be mocked. Whatever a man sows, he will reap in return. The one who sows to please his flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; but the one who sows to please the Spirit, from Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to the family of faith.”

 

Some suggestions for resources

How We Love.                                                                                                Milan and Kay Yerkovich
Laugh your way to a better Marriage The Grace Marriage                        Mark Gungor

The Grace Marriage                                                                                       Brad and Marilyn Rhoads

You and Me Forever                                                                                       Francis and Lisa Chan                                                         

 5 Love Languages                                                                                        Gary Chapman


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