The Mother's Heart

From the perspective of a mom who's children are grown and off living their own lives, I often want to beg young moms to stop and notice the joys of having young children because these years pass so quickly. It so does not feel like it, I know, yet it is the truth. I would mistakenly say things like, "Enjoy every moment because the years fly by too quickly." This comment was sometimes met with frustration and anger because another truth is that every moment of parenting cannot be enjoyed. There are times when it is impossible to enjoy being vomited on or disciplining a misbehaved child. And then when you are told you should enjoy it all, you feel like a failure when you don't. Ok, that is fair. My words to enjoy every moment are not the best words to express what I want to encourage moms with. So, what is it that I really want to say?

I think we can take a lesson from Mary, the mother of Jesus. I want to encourage everyone to practice the art of "treasuring in your heart." Luke records three times when Mary "pondered in her heart". She kept or retained the events she was a part of as mementos in her heart to remember always.

I can recount each moment when I gave birth to my children; the room, the feelings, that first quiet moment after everyone left the room when I had my first heart to heart talk with my newest blessing. I can close my eyes and remember the moment my son, facing his first mission trip, fell on the couch in tears feeling a bit fearful of the journey. I can feel the bitter/sweet emotion I experience every time I have to say goodbye to my kids as they leave the nest to fly on their own. I remember their funny sayings, the singing at night to settle down to bed, and even the times when I had to come down hard on them. I have treasured the tears and prayers when I wrestled with God over hard situations. My heart can be so incredibly full that it's overwhelming. And I am only one mom. I think of the abundantly full hearts of so many moms.

I have known moms struggling with infertility and how their hearts longed for moments to treasure and then how it played out as an adopted child entered their lives. I have known moms who had to bear the pain of raising a child with special needs. These moms had to grieve the loss of the common dreams to find a new and unique path to treasure in their hearts. I have known moms who struggle with mental illness or addictions. Their hearts can be filled with regret or hard choices of sacrifice that had to be made so their children could have the best life possible. Yet I know the the love they feel for their children is etched safely in their heart forever. I also know moms who had a really difficult time with parenting. My encouragement to them is to work on treasuring. Try to find just one moment in the day to notice and mark in the memory; a smile, a hug, a fleeting moment that can be tucked away to remember later.

I often find myself awake at night and my mind travels to all the moments I have treasured in my heart; the good, the bad, the joyous, the painful. This is the testimony to how God has orchestrated my life. These are the moments that are my story as a women, a wife and a mom. These memories, treasured in my heart, are my friends and as friends do, they cause my to cry sometimes, laugh sometimes and smile a lot.

When I would help my mom get to bed in the last few years of her life we had a routine. We helped her pull herself up from the wheelchair and on to bed. We assisted her with laying down. We placed wedges by her back and a pillow between her knees. After covering her I gave her what we lovingly called her pacifier; a small, soft, tubular pillow that she would hug close to her heart. As I kissed her goodnight she would often tear up and whimper a little, clutching the pillow tightly. As I left her room I could only imagine the memories she had treasured in her heart over he ninety three years of her life, bitter/sweet, there to keep her company as she slept. The music of her life.

I pray we all can, like Mary, be mindful of "treasuring in our hearts". Don't let the small, powerful moments of your life pass by unnoticed. Keep them as mementos in your heart to treasure always.