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The Mother's Heart

  • Aug 13, 2022
  • 3 min read

From the perspective of a mom who's children are grown and off living their own lives, I often want to beg young moms to stop and notice the joys of having young children because these years pass so quickly. It so does not feel like it, I know, yet it is the truth. I would mistakenly say things like, "Enjoy every moment because the years fly by too quickly." This comment was sometimes met with frustration and anger because another truth is that every moment of parenting cannot be enjoyed. There are times when it is impossible to enjoy being vomited on or disciplining a misbehaved child. And then when you are told you should enjoy it all, you feel like a failure when you don't. Ok, that is fair. My words to enjoy every moment are not the best words to express what I want to encourage moms with. So, what is it that I really want to say?

I think we can take a lesson from Mary, the mother of Jesus. I want to encourage everyone to practice the art of "treasuring in your heart." Luke records three times when Mary "pondered in her heart". She kept or retained the events she was a part of as mementos in her heart to remember always.


I can recount each moment when I gave birth to my children; the room, the feelings, that first quiet moment after everyone left the room when I had my first heart to heart talk with my newest blessing. I can close my eyes and remember the moment my son, facing his first mission trip, fell on the couch in tears feeling a bit fearful of the journey. I can feel the bitter/sweet emotion I experience every time I have to say goodbye to my kids as they leave the nest to fly on their own. I remember their funny sayings, the singing at night to settle down to bed, and even the times when I had to come down hard on them. I have treasured the tears and prayers when I wrestled with God over hard situations. My heart can be so incredibly full that it's overwhelming. And I am only one mom. I think of the abundantly full hearts of so many moms.

I have known moms struggling with infertility and how their hearts longed for moments to treasure and then how it played out as an adopted child entered their lives. I have known moms who had to bear the pain of raising a child with special needs. These moms had to grieve the loss of the common dreams to find a new and unique path to treasure in their hearts. I have known moms who struggle with mental illness or addictions. Their hearts can be filled with regret or hard choices of sacrifice that had to be made so their children could have the best life possible. Yet I know the the love they feel for their children is etched safely in their heart forever. I also know moms who had a really difficult time with parenting. My encouragement to them is to work on treasuring. Try to find just one moment in the day to notice and mark in the memory; a smile, a hug, a fleeting moment that can be tucked away to remember later.

I often find myself awake at night and my mind travels to all the moments I have treasured in my heart; the good, the bad, the joyous, the painful. This is the testimony to how God has orchestrated my life. These are the moments that are my story as a women, a wife and a mom. These memories, treasured in my heart, are my friends and as friends do, they cause my to cry sometimes, laugh sometimes and smile a lot.

When I would help my mom get to bed in the last few years of her life we had a routine. We helped her pull herself up from the wheelchair and on to bed. We assisted her with laying down. We placed wedges by her back and a pillow between her knees. After covering her I gave her what we lovingly called her pacifier; a small, soft, tubular pillow that she would hug close to her heart. As I kissed her goodnight she would often tear up and whimper a little, clutching the pillow tightly. As I left her room I could only imagine the memories she had treasured in her heart over he ninety three years of her life, bitter/sweet, there to keep her company as she slept. The music of her life.

I pray we all can, like Mary, be mindful of "treasuring in our hearts". Don't let the small, powerful moments of your life pass by unnoticed. Keep them as mementos in your heart to treasure always.


 
 
 

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WOMEN’S ROLES

Lesson 1

“ROLES, NOT IDENTITY”

 

As we look at the creation story in Genesis, we see that God was satisfied with each day of His handiwork.  We see the phrase “And God saw that it was good” over and over.  On the sixth day God said:

 

“Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness”  “So God created man in His own image.”

 

God ordained man to rule over creation.  The Bible says that male and female, He created them.  And God said it was not only good but “VERY good”

 

In Genesis 2:18 God indicates the first thing that He said was not good during the seven days of creation.  And that was, it was not good for man to be alone.  In all of creation, the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the beasts fo the land, there was not found a suitable helper for man.

 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept she took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh.  And from that rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.” Gen. 2: 21 and 22

 

Woman was created to be a “suitable helper”.  The King James Bible uses the term “Help Meet”  What does that mean?

 

As we look at scriptures that talk about the role of women, we can be thrust into so many emotions.  These scriptures can be hard to swallow.  But I ask the question, Are the scriptures difficult or is it my heart that is not soft enough to meditate on these verses? Do I have preconceived ideas, negative past experiences, or selfish, self preserving defenses that go up immediately as I look upon such ideas?

 

In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book entitled, “Helper by Design”  She says this about handling such scriptures as she started the project of writing her book:

 

“Honestly, there were days I strongly considered forsaking the whole project.  Then, when by God’s mercy, I once again regained forward motion, I felt I was walking in the dark…trying to learn what I just tripped over, picking up a stone, holding it…examining it, experiencing it.  What does the heat of this rock mean?  Is it really blistering hot or is it just that my hands are so cold?  Is it genuinely sharp?  Does it have to cut, or am I hanging on to it too tightly or holding it in the wrong places?”

 

I believe that as we look at what God instructs, it does not have to sting. If we open our heart to God’s instructions we will see something powerful and beautiful.

 

Let’s remember a few things before we begin.

 

  1. We are God’s beloved children.  (Eph. 5:1)

  2. Everything God instructs is for our own good and pleasure. (Jer. 29:11)

  3. God longs to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. (2 Chron. 16:9)(Psalm 37:4)

  4. We can only control ourselves. (Phil. 2:12-13 )

 

As women we fill many roles.   We are daughters and sisters. We may choose to marry taking on the role of helper and wife.  We may have children taking on the role of mother.  We may choose roles like teacher, health care provider, coach, boss of a company, etc.

We must remember that no matter the roles we fill,  they are not our identity.

Our identity is CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE.  This is the main point I want to get across in this lesson.  And I believe that if we put this truth into our hearts it will help us accept the role of helper to our husband. It will help us embrace the role in a different light.

 

As a christian woman, our goal in life is to reflect Christ in all we do.  To be His hands and feet.  We seek to glorify God with the work of our hands and to glorify and imitate God within any role we fill.

 

Elyse Fitzpatrick suggests that we can gain greater understanding of what a helper does if we imitate our Heavenly Father who is our great helper.

 

 

IN WHAT WAYS IS GOD OUR HELPER?

 

God strengthens-

Psalm 54:4 - “Behold, God is my helper:  The Lord is of them that uphold my soul.”

 

Isa. 41:10 - “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

 

Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

 

 

God sustains-

 

Isa. 46:4 - “I will be your God throughout your lifetime- Until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will cary you along and I will save you.”

 

God comforts-

 

2 Cor 1 : 3-4 “…God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others….”

 

God protects-

 

2 Thes. 3:3 - “…The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.”

 

 

We can always count on God to hold to his promises.  So, in that light let’s answer these questions.

 

  1. Can our husband always count on us?

  2. How can we strengthen our husband?

  3. How can we help sustain him?

  4. What is the best way to comfort our husband?

  5. How can we protect our husband?

  6. How do we treat our husband in a time of trouble?

 

We all know that the world is a tough place.  As we go out to work and purchase and live our lives we can be knocked down in many ways.  I want our home and my presence to be a source of strength, comfort and protection to my husband and family.  I want my husband to want to come home because it is the place where he feels safe, secure, respected and a respite from the world.  As wives, we have the power to create an atmosphere that fosters those characteristics.

​

Last night Frank came home and to my surprise he said to me, “ My eyes were really opened today.”  He had been out plowing snow for 13 hours. This caught my attention. “ I just want to thank you for being the kind of woman that you are.”  Ok. That was nice. Why was he compelled to say this?  Apparently he had witnessed some conversations where he was shocked at how the man in those conversations was being spoken to.  He heard great disrespect, ungratefulness, and ugliness.  He said he could not imagine being spoken to in the manner he had heard.  I said thank you and asked, “ So my nagging isn’t so bad?”

He laughed and said,”Bring it on!”

I love my husband with all my heart and was so thankful he sees me as a source of strength, comfort and a safe haven from the world.  I am not perfect by any means but I only want my husband to thrive in our lives and family.

 

 

 

 

Being a helper to our husband goes far deeper than just having dinner ready at a certain time.  It is not a lesser role.  It does not devalue us.  If anything it is a beautiful thing when we show the love that God shows. It is tremendously powerful when we “build our house”.  We want good things for the man we love.

 

As parents it is a wonderful gift to give our children; showing them how to love and honor another human being and to strive for what is good in another person’s life.

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