Women's Roles
Lesson 2
Gaining Understanding
When I was a new Christian I attended my first Ladies Rally at a local church. I can't tell you who the speaker was. I can't tell you the theme of the day's events. I can't remember what we had for lunch or what favors we went home with. What I do remember, and have never forgotten was something the speaker said. She was talking about difficult situations you encounter in ministry and I was so impressed with the love in which she spoke of the people she was discipling. The advice she gave was not really earth shattering or some kind of new revelation but the words penetrated my soul in a way I had never thought of before. She encouraged us to always seek to gain understanding when we work with hurting people. She continued to remind us that there are always reasons why people may act in certain ways and the more we can seek to understand in love, the more we will be able to reach them with the message of the gospel.
We spoke last lesson on how a woman was created to be a helper to man. The Hebrew word for helper is Ezer. This is the very word used to describe God. "He is our ever present help in time of trouble." We spoke of how the role of helper is not a subservient role. It means that we help where the other person is unable to do for himself. We are not less than. We complement and give what is needed and not able to be done without us. The role of helper to our husband is a powerful one. It is a role that can be used in a positive way or can be abused in a destructive way. As we spoke last lesson, we want to use this role to bless our families.
The home needs to be a peaceful place where each member of our family feels safe and understood. Moms can set the tone within the family in this area and just as God is our example of how to help, He can show us how to seek understanding.
Psalm 139:1-6
"O Lord, You searched me and know me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;..."
The peace we experience by knowing that our God loves us so much and truly knows us is amazing. Of course we can not know everything about our family members like the all knowing God. However when we take the time to seek to know and understand our husband and children it creates an environment within the home that is peaceful, safe and secure.
Proverbs 3:13
"Happy is the man who finds wisdom and the man who gains understanding"
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Romans 12:16
"Live in harmony with one another."
Everyone wants to be heard and understood. As a wife and mother, we often get caught up in our busy lives and all the things we need to do. Let's face it we are tired. But it is so important to be intentional about knowing our mates. Knowing our children. It is critical that we keep a finger on the pulse of our family. The time that it takes is worth it. If we neglect to connect with our husband and children we may find ourselves in crisis.
WAYS TO BE PROACTIVE
1.) Acknowledge the critical role you play in your family's lives. You are important and together with your husband are the most influential people in your kid's lives. If you are not intentional to pour into your family, someone else will and you may not like the influence.
2.) Evaluate often the activities you and your family are involved in. Are they contributing to the family in a positive way or are they hindering connection between you and your family.
3.) Be brave enough to eliminate things that are hindering your family time together.
4.) Prioritize alone time with your spouse and each of your children. Take time every week to connect and check in with each other to be aware of what is going on. This looks different for every family. Do what works for your family but do something!!
5.) The good news is that when these activities become a regular part of your routine, it is not that time consuming. It is like maintenance cleaning vs. always having to do a deep clean.
6.) In those times where you are confronting a difficult situation remember the scripture below.
Romans 15: 4-6
"For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
In our attempts to grow close to each other in the family and understand each other, remember the goal to grow closer to Christ in all of it.
7.) Seek out resources that will help in guiding you and your family members in better communication. Books, seminars, podcasts. There are so many helpful tools.
Also encourage each other in ways to get better at connecting.
8.) Prayer!! Ask God for guidance to be better at this. Your relationships will grow and deepen with every time you pursue connecting, understanding, and loving. You will reap a harvest of blessings as you prioritize these things.
STUDY QUESTION
1.)What ways have you found to better connect with your spouse? Share some of your ideas with the group.
2.)What are some of the ways you have found to stay connected to your children? What have you found to be successful in keeping those lines of communication open with your family? Share ideas.
3.) As a group make a list of suggestions to increase connecting time with your family members.
regular "mommy/daddy time" even if it is coffee together in the morning for 15 min.
designate special times with each of your children to "check in"
ADD YOUR OWN